ORPHAN

 Orphan Movie Review

Kate (Vera Farmiga The Departed, The Manchurian Candidate) and John Coleman (Peter Sarsgaard The Skeleton Key, Flightplan) adopt Esther (Isabelle Fuhrman), a well-mannered, intelligent 9-year-old girl with a dark side. Soon after her arrival, Esther shows her true, psychotic self while manipulating the entire family. This movie starts out pretty slow as they give a background of the family—a lot of this could have been cut, especially considering the movie is just over two hours long. Once Esther arrives, however, the pace picks up and really doesn’t slow much, all the way up to a thrilling ending. Farmiga seems a weird choice for the role—I can’t decide if it is her or the character that annoyed me so much. There is no debate on son Daniel (Jimmy Bennett), however—he's horrible. Aryana Engineer does a good job as Max the youngest child, and Sarsgaard is good as John, but Fuhrman really steals the show with her performance here. I generally do not find children scary in movies, but Fuhrman is absolutely creepy in this role, and her performance really deserved a lot more attention than it received.

Creepy

To say she carries this movie is an understatement. CCH Pounder (The Shield) also shows up and, of course, gives a good performance as well. Some of this film is just brutal, some will have you on the edge of your seat, and some is really bizarre. There is also a twist in the end that is pretty effective. If you can get past the two bad performances and the slow start, you will find a rather good movie that I enjoy a lot.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 8

Orphan Movie Trailer 

MIRRORS 2

Mirrors 2 Movie Review

Max (Nick Stahl Carnivale, Sin City) takes a job as a security guard at a department store and soon starts seeing strange things in mirrors there, including the deaths of other people working in the building. This essentially follows the same general idea of the first Mirrors film and even almost recreates a few of the scenes from the first one. This one does seem to have a bit more gore, some of which is effective and some of which looks pretty bad thanks to the poor CGI.

Here's a taste

The cast is actually pretty decent here, especially Stahl in the lead. The story itself is a pretty good one as well once it got it’s own legs and strayed enough away from the first film—not that I dislike the first film at all. I am actually quite a fan of it, but this movie, at times, and especially in the beginning, felt like a remake of the first film. The dialogue was mostly good with a few shaky spots here and there and a few too many clichés. The ending was done well and, other than some questionable CGI, was very pleasing. This straight to video movie is not a masterpiece, but it was a nice surprise as it was better than I was expecting.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

Mirrors 2 Movie Trailer

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING

The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring Movie Review

Hobbit Frodo (Elijah Wood (Sin City, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind) must take a journey to the Cracks Of Doom to destroy a ring that has an evil past. He is joined on his quest by several friends and allies and they run into plenty of enemies along the way. This is the beginning of the epic Lord of The Rings trilogy and it starts off pretty well. The first thing you will likely notice about this movie is how visually stunning it is. Not only is the scenery outstanding, but the special effects and various creatures are also very well done. The story itself can be a somewhat confusing one with names that will take some time to get used to. The dialogue is interesting, even to somebody such as myself—a person who is not a big fan of fantasy films. The battle scenes go from good to simply outstanding. The picture does run a bit long, coming in at just under three hours, so there are moments here and there that I found myself drifting off, but there was always something that came soon after that pulled me right back in. The cast is a mix of the brilliant, especially Viggo Mortensen (Daylight, A History Of Violence) as Aragorn and Ian McKellen (X-Men series) as Gandalf, and awful, such as Wood and Sean Astin (Where The Day Takes You, The Goonies) as Sam. Unfortunately Wood is the main character, and his performance simply takes away a lot from this movie. Still, this is a really good movie. I was reluctant to watch it for so many years until somebody convinced me to see it—I’m glad she did and I look forward to the next two.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 8

The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring Movie Trailer 

DOLLS

 Dolls Movie Review

Two groups of people with car troubles end up in a mansion for the night and are soon being terrorized by dolls that have come to life. I remember seeing the cover of this 1987 film at video stores for years but never rented it. Having seen it, I sort of wish I had rented it back in the day, as I enjoyed it more than I expected. One part horror, one part fairytale, and one part comedy, this movie balances all three nicely. The setting is a very creepy one, and the dolls coming to life was actually fairly cool and well done.

Thieves get nowhere in life

The acting, for the most part, is dreadful, with the exception of Guy Rolfe, who, incidentally, went on to star in a few of the Puppet Master films, a series about killer puppets. The ending is an interesting one that appeared as though was going to lead to a sequel, but that was never done. Some of the stuff in this movie is laughable (especially the poor acting) but overall I enjoyed this one.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

Dolls Movie Trailer

THE BLOB (1988)

The Blob 1988 Movie Review

A meteor hits the Earth and unleashes an organism that soon kills people—the more people it kills, the more it grows. This 1988 film is a remake of the 1958 B-movie classic and has become somewhat a classic itself. What I really like about this movie is that it doesn’t take itself too seriously, yet is a true dedication to the original as well. Kevin Dillon (The Doors, Platoon) does a good job playing the rebel kid trying to do good, Shawnee Smith (The Saw Series, Becker) does an equally good job playing Meg, the popular cheerleader, and both play the characters with a subtle bit of humor. The special effects are pretty good for the most part, and wonderfully cheesy at times.

Awesome

The dialogue in this is pretty bad at times, most of the stuff that was meant to be obviously funny isn’t, and some of the shots are questionable, so this is far from a great movie, but I liked it for what it was and thought it was a lot of fun.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

The Blob Movie Trailer

NIGHT OF THE DEMONS (2009)

Night Of The Demons 2009 Movie Review

Angela (Shannon Elizabeth, Thirteen Ghosts) is having a Halloween party at a mansion. Soon the guests start becoming possessed by demons. Based on this basic plot summary you would assume this is a remake of the 80’s Night Of The Demons, but calling this a remake is very much a stretch. Other than the very basic idea and the use of the name Angela, there is little about this that resembles the original (a movie I am a big fan of). Elizabeth is a horrible actress, and her portrayal of Angela doesn’t even come close to the original (portrayed by Mimi Kinkade). Not that Kinkade was an extremely talented actress herself, but she made a much more effective Angela, bringing the whole Gothic thing that Elizabeth sorely lacks here. Something that differs a lot from the original is that, in the original, you bought the characters/actors as late teens-early twenties. Here they all look to be in their thirties, especially Edward Furlong (Terminator 2, American History X), who is now fat and looks like he’s about forty.

Ouch

The acting is bad all around in this one too, which is a shame because at least two of the actors involved (Diora Baird of 30 Days Of Night 2 and Monica Keena of Freddy vs. Jason) have actually been enjoyable in other parts. The special effects, and demons themselves, are rather awful for the most part. There is way too much attempted humor in this, though I have to admit I did laugh twice. The movie does pay homage to the original a few times; the infamous lipstick scene is sort of recreated (not as cool as the original), Angela’s dancing scene is sort of recreated (the only cool thing about this one is Type O Negative’s Black Number 1 playing), and Linnea Quigley has a cameo, complete with her ballerina costume and a nod to a scene she had in the original (this is actually really cool, and probably the best part of the movie).

Suzanne?

This is not a terrible movie really, but given my love of the original, I guess I was expecting much more. Instead, I got a run of the mill horror that is neither good nor bad--it's just sort of a harmless, at times fun, throwaway of a movie that is just there.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5

Night Of The Demons Movie Trailer (includes profanity, gore, and nudity)  

30 DAYS OF NIGHT 2: DARK DAYS

30 Days Of Night 2: Dark Days Movie Review

Picking up where the original left off, Stella (Kiele Sanchez) and a small group of vampire hunters are in search of Lilith (Mia Kirshner The Crow 2, 24), the “Queen Bee” of the vampires, in an attempt to stop more attacks. This direct to video sequel to 30 Days Of Night fails to really capture the horror of the first. For me, the first, and probably biggest, disappointment is that Melissa George did not return to play Stella. She was really good in that role, and brought a lot more to the character than Sanchez does. Not that Sanchez did a horrible job--she simply is not nearly as talented as George. Another hang-up, and maybe one that is not a major deal, is the fact that the vampires are now suddenly speaking English. I thought one of the things that made the vampires in the original so effective was that they had their own language, when they spoke at all. Plus, the vampires here don’t look as scary. But this movie isn’t all bad.

Tread lightly

Kirshner does an incredible job as Lilith (but is sadly not in it nearly enough), Diora Baird (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, Night Of The Demons) is very good as vampire hunter Amber, and veteran television actor Troy Ruptash is creepy as Agent Norris. There are a few clever scenes here and there as well. The story is somewhat weak at times, strong at others, and the dialogue is, for the most part, uninteresting. Another major problem is that Stella, who I really wanted to live through the first one, becomes so unlikable and utterly stupid by the end of this film that I was actually hoping she would die. This movie does not live up to the original (one of my favorite horror films of the current Century) but it does an acceptable job.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

 30 Days Of Night 2: Dark Days Movie Trailer 

THE LAST MAN ON EARTH

The Last Man On Earth Movie Review

Dr. Robert Morgan (horror legend Vincent Price) is the last man on Earth after a deadly virus has killed mankind and turned them into vampires. He now lives day-to-day trying to survive and kill all the creatures of the night. This 1964 film, much like the more recent I Am Legend, was based on the novel I Am Legend, but this one differs from the more recent movie, as well as the novel itself, quite a bit. The creatures are referred to as “vampires”, but, other than the fact they can only come out at night and at one point it is mentioned that they like blood, they don’t act like vampires. They are very slow and brooding, much like zombies, but they talk and feel pain, so they are obviously not zombies--we'll just call them some sort of combination of the two.

Don't think too much about it

Anyways, the movie is basically a look at Morgan’s day-to-day life and his slipping into madness with some interaction of the vampires thrown in. This isn’t really a scary movie—Morgan himself is not scared of the vampires—but more a grim look at the future of humanity. It is a dark movie from start to finish, with an ending that keeps that feel. Price, of course, is good in this role, especially since a lot of it is voice over stuff and he has one of the best voices in Hollywood history. The only thing bad I can say about this film really, other than it not being scary at all, is that it moves very slowly at times. Other than that, there's not much to complain about, and the behavior of the vampires obviously inspired those of the zombies in Night Of The Living Dead a few years later, so that’s a good thing. This is not a great film, but it is pretty enjoyable.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

The Last Man On Earth Movie Trailer 

DEMENTIA 13

Dementia 13 Movie Review

This movie starts abruptly with John Haloran (Peter Read) telling his wife Louise (Luana Anders) that she will not get any of his mothers inheritance if he is dead. Of course he dies almost instantly, so now Louise has to arrive at his mother’s house pretending John is still alive and on an assignment in New York. Louise arrives at the Haloran mansion, which is also occupied by John’s mother, two brothers, the fiancé of one brother, a doctor, and various servants. They are all mourning the passing of Kathleen, the younger sister of the Haloran boys, when suddenly an ax-wielding killer starts whacking the guests. If that sounds like a lot for a plot, it is, as this film tries to balance everything going on and deliver something cohesive—and surprisingly, it works.

This 1963 film, written and directed by Francis Ford Coppola (The Godfather Trilogy, Apocalypse Now)—his first directing job, and produced by B-Movie legend Roger Corman--is creepy at times, shocking at others, and wonderfully shot (the boom mike cameo notwithstanding). Yes, it obviously borrows a lot from Hitchcock films, but most good movies around this time did. The acting is pretty solid for the most part, with Anders and Bart Patton as Billy Haloran being the standouts. Unfortunately, the ending of the movie is anticlimactic and comes on as abruptly as the film starts. Still, this is a good, classic horror-suspense film worth a watch.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

Dementia 13 Movie Trailer 

NIGHTMARE CASTLE

Nightmare Castle Movie Review

Muriel Arrowsmith (Barbara Steele) and her lover are killed by Muriel’s husband Stephen (Paul Muller) after he catches them together. Stephen then realizes Muriel’s sister Jenny (also Steele) inherited Muriel’s fortune and marries her with the hopes of driving her mad so he can then inherit the fortune from her. Things go wrong, however, when Muriel and her lover return from the grave to exact revenge.

Scary

If this sounds somewhat familiar it could be because you read my review of The Ghost, also starring Steele. This 1965 Italian horror seems to have a lot going on, but it truly plods along throughout the movie, with little happening. Steele gives a good performance again, though, keeping your interest until the end. This is typical Italian gothic horror—slow moving, a few weird things here and there, and then the somewhat surprise ending. The ending to this movie, however, is better than most for its day, and truly horrific for its time. This is not a really good movie, but one worth checking out if you are a Steele fan (I am quickly becoming one) or if you can appreciate the style and ending.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5

Nightmare Castle Movie Trailer

DOMINIQUE

 Dominique Movie Review

Millionaire David Ballard (Cliff Robertson) is haunted by the ghost of his recently deceased wife Dominique (Jean Simmons), who he had tormented during her life. This is a really, really boring, and overall terrible, movie. The dialogue is a joke, it moves miserably slow, the acting is bad (and not in a good way) and little to nothing actually happens throughout. The end is somewhat decent, or maybe it just appears to be compared to the ninety minutes leading up to it. The only thing remotely interesting about this movie is the lighting, which is often all red, blue, or green. Also, it was transferred from reel to reel, which adds a touch that I personally enjoy, but none of these things make this film is remotely worth watching--avoid Dominique at all costs.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 2

I couldn't find the trailer, so here is the entire movie. You've been warned. 

THE GHOST

The Ghost Movie Review

The first thing I noticed: This movie is mislabeled on the DVD menu. The movie that says The Ghost is actually Dominique. So I clicked on Dominique Is Dead (also mislabeled) and finally got to this movie. So if you pick up the Do Not Watch Alone collection, be ready for that.

A woman (Barbara Steele) and her lover (Peter Baldwin), the doctor taking care of the woman’s sick, wealthy husband (Elio Jotta), plot to murder the millionaire to inherit his fortune. After the man is killed, however, his ghost returns to haunt his widowed wife. This Italian film has a very gothic feel, with the entire movie taking place in a mansion, and is typical of these sorts of movies. You have creepy music box music playing by itself, unexplained happenings all around the mansion, and a very slow pace. This all leads to an ending full of twists (one of which isn’t too bad). Steele is actually a pretty talented actress and does a good job carrying this film (she’s also easy on the eyes).

Hey there

This isn’t a bad movie, but it does drag on way too long. It would have been much better suited as an episode of The Twilight Zone.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 4

The Ghost Movie Trailer 

THE UNDERTAKER AND HIS PALS

The Undertaker and His Pals Movie Review

I saw the title to this one and dreaded watching it--as it turns out, it’s not too bad. An undertaker and two friends who run a deli in the city team up to kill people—the undertaker does it to make money burying the dead, the deli owners chop the bodies up and make food out of them. This movie is pure grindhouse, filled with choppy editing, off audio, and a grainy look. There is plenty of blood and gore in this one for its time and several very attractive women in it.

Keep your eye on the picture--if you can take it off the blonde

One thing that takes away from the movie is that they throw a lot of comedy in it—this would not be a problem if this stuff was actually funny, but it’s not--at all--leaving one to wonder how much better this could have been as a straight horror film. The acting throughout is awful as well. These things combined knock this one down a point or two. This movie is worth a watch, but fast forward through the comedy stuff (the music will cue you when it is coming).

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5

The Undertaker and His Pals Movie Trailer  

I BURY THE LIVING

I Bury The Living Movie Review

The new chairman of a cemetery (Richard Boone of Have Gun Will Travel) discovers that by putting black pins instead of white ones in the cemetery map he can kill whoever has reserved that plot. So he keeps doing it. And doing it. And doing it.

"Can I do it again?"

This 1958 film has a fairly good idea that is never executed to it’s potential. Boone, who was a really good actor, seems to phone in his performance, and Theodore Bikel is dreadful as Andy the Scottish groundskeeper (though one has to wonder is Groundskeeper Willie was inspired by this character). The pace is slow, the action little, and the story fairly boring--all that said, this movie is a bit ahead of its time, and was shot wonderfully. Still, these are not reasons enough to watch this one.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 4

I Bury The Living Movie Trailer (This is a wonderful trailer) 

BITTEN

Bitten Movie Review

A paramedic named Jack (Jason Mewes, Clerks, Feast) finds a beaten and bloodied girl (Erica Cox) in an alley and takes her to his apartment to help her back to health. He soon discovers the woman is a vampire. Now he has to find a way to keep her hunger for blood satisfied. This movie is a horror-comedy that fails miserably at being either. The dialogue is terribly bad. The “comedy” is not funny at all. Anybody who has seen Mewes in a movie knows he has little to no acting ability--this works fine in roles like “Jay” from the Kevin Smith movies, but in movies where he is the lead and actually has dramatic moments, his lack of acting abilities sticks out like a sore thumb. Cox is not a lot better, but for some her looks will make up for it.

For some, not all

All the side characters are terrible, as are the actors playing them. The story is a boring one, the unfunny jokes are repeated over and over—even the soundtrack is bad. After 85 minutes of this I found myself begging for the end of the movie, only to be subjected to another couple minutes of the least funny outtakes reel I have ever seen. The only good things I can say about this film are that it features a smoking hot vampire chick and a fair bit of blood—neither are reason enough to sit through this movie.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 3

Bitten Movie Trailer

ZOMBIE STRIPPERS!

Zombie Strippers Movie Review 

The United States Government has released a virus turning people into zombies. A soldier becomes infected, stumbles into a strip club, and infects a stripper, who infects other strippers, turning them into, yes, zombie strippers. For as bad as the plot sounds, the movie is even worse. There are a couple moments here and there that are interesting but most of the film is stripper turns into zombie, dances, kills one of the clientele, turns another stripper into a zombie, she dances, kills somebody, etc. The dialogue is awful, the acting even worse (a few people may recognize singer Roxy Saint as one of the strippers), and the special effects are horrible (especially anything CGI). There are a couple death scenes that are mildly interesting, and Robert Englund (A Nightmare On Elm Street series) is pretty awesome as the greedy club owner, but as for anything else positive about this movie, not much can be said.

His reaction when offered this role?

I understand they were trying to make a comedic B-movie here. The problem is that it is not funny (at all) and instead of coming off as homage to B-movies, it is just a really bad movie--Englund deserves so much better. I can only recommend this movie for Englund’s performance, or if you are a fan of Saint and want to see her topless and looking like a zombie. Otherwise, skip it at all costs.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 3

Zombie Strippers Movie Trailer  

TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN (aka INVASION!)

Invasion! Top Of The Food Chain Movie Review

Atomic scientist Dr. Lamonte (Campbell Scott, The Exorcism Of Emily Rose, Singles) goes to an isolated town for research. While there he meets some very strange people--some local, some not of this world. Soon, bodies start turning up as Lamonte and the people of the town try to figure out who, or what, is killing and eating the small town denizens. This sci-fi comedy is a spoof of alien/creature features of the 1950’s and it one of the quirkiest films I have ever seen. Scott is absolute gold as the clueless scientist, and Fiona Loewi gives a very strong performance as the dreamy Sandy Fawkes, a girl who falls for Lamonte. Honestly, you could throw everything else in this movie out and it would be worth watching just to see Scott and Loewi.

Our campy couple

However, there is plenty more to enjoy here, from a very witty and, at times, laugh out loud funny script, wonderfully cheesy special effects, and, of course, the aliens. This Canadian movie, known as Invasion! on the U.S. DVD, came out in 2000 and I hate that I never heard of it before now. If you get this movie and understand what they are doing with it (I did), and if you are a fan of 1950’s sci-fi movies (I am), you will probably love this film (as I did).

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 9

Top Of The Food Chain Movie Trailer

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

Night of the Living Dead Movie Review

A group of strangers come together in a small country home to try to fight off zombies. This George A Romero film is an absolute horror classic. This film was pretty ahead of its time, and you really feel that here, as there are some truly scary moments, the zombies look pretty cool, and there is quite a bit more gore than was typical for this time (1968).

Here they come

Also out of the ordinary is the fact that our hero, Ben (Duane Jones), is a black guy…

This black guy

...this simply did not happen during this time. The acting goes from pretty good (Judith O’Dea as Barbra) to really bad (Jones), but there is so much to love about this movie that it doesn’t matter. The end of the movie also brings quite a social question into play, something that would become a Romero trademark. This movie is a cult classic, and also a must see for all horror fans, especially zombie movie fans, as this is the one that started it all.

Just because

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 9

Night Of The Living Dead Movie Trailer

HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL

House On Haunted Hill Movie Review

A rich business man (horror legend Vincent Price) is having a haunted house party and offers complete strangers $10,000 each if they can spend an entire night in his house on--you guessed it--Haunted Hill. Many people know the remake of this film, but this is the original (1959), and in my opinion, better of the films. Price is as great as ever here and the supporting cast is pretty good as well, particularly the oft-disturbed Nora Manning (Carolyn Craig), who brings with her, aside from talented acting, quite a set of lungs.

For the Scream fans

This movie was in a few ways ahead of its time, with some pretty creepy moments and a few twists and turns. Of course it also has the terrible dialogue and, at times, drags out quite a bit; however, if you are one who is into much older horror films, this one is a must.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

House On Haunted Hill Movie Trailer

LEGION

Legion Movie Review

The angel Michael (Paul Bettany, Kiss Kiss (Bang Bang), Iron Man) comes to Earth to protect an unborn child, the key to the survival of humanity, from being killed by his fellow angels, who are following God’s orders to eliminate man from the world. The premise of this movie is nothing new (for a similar, and far better movie, check out The Prophecy), and little else in the film is either. This is actually a somewhat enjoyable movie for the most part, however, in spite of the largely poor acting (Dennis Quaid even phones this one in). There are some pretty cool scenes and special effects (yes, the ones shown in the television spots and trailers) and the build up is decent.

We're out of strawberry shortcake!

Then you get the final half hour, which is a complete disaster and very poorly executed. Seldom do I say the ending of a movie ruins the rest of it, but in this case, that is exactly what happens. If you must watch this film, I recommend turning it off just after the mother tells the daughter off and imagine to yourself how the rest of the movie will turn out…. whatever you think, it probably will not be as bad as what actually happens.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5

Legion Movie Trailer

CREEP

Creep Movie Review

Kate (Franka Potente, Blow, House) is trapped in the London Underground overnight after falling asleep and being locked in. Now she is running from a killer mutant out for blood. This film is strange in that it felt sort of unique but also reminded me of a few other films—Midnight Meat Train and The Descent being the most obvious. It is a fairly decent movie with a bit of gore and suspense, but the movie really suffers in that the hero/victim, Kate, is not a likable character at all—which is not to say that Potente did a bad job of acting, it’s just that the character, as she was written, was not likable. Honestly I was waiting the entire movie for her to die.

She doesn't here

The only two characters even remotely likable in the film, in fact, are such small characters that you seldom see them. The mutant is very disturbing and scary looking, which can sometimes be hard to pull off, so credit has to go to the makeup department for that one, as well as the actor (Sean Harris of 24 Hour Party People), whose movements and behaviors added to the creepiness. There is nothing groundbreaking in this film but there is nothing too terribly bad either. It’s actually stronger than a 6 I think, but not quite a 7, and I don't give half stars, so….

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Creep Movie Trailer

INCEPTION (From The Theatre)

Inception Movie Review

A group led by Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, The Departed) is able to enter peoples’ dreams, planting ideas and stealing information from them. The group is hired by Japanese businessman Saito (Ken Watanabe, Batman Begins, The Last Samurai) to enter the dreams of a rival businessman (Cillian Murphy, 28 Days Later, Red Eye) to plant an idea that will help Saito’s business. Meanwhile, Cobb, who was accused of killing his wife, has trouble telling the difference between reality and the dream world as he struggles to clear his name and return to his kids in America.

Awake or asleep?

This film, from director Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight, Memento), questions absolutely everything about reality and takes the viewer on a wild ride the entire time. The story is fantastic, the acting is incredible, and many of the views are breathtaking. It can be a lot to follow at times, but as long as you pay attention and have an open mind to what is going on, it is well worth it. This movie clocks in at just shy of two and a half hours, and I really did not want it to end (though when it does, it delivers one of the best endings one could possibly hope for). Other than possibly Tom Berenger, every actor in this movie fits perfectly with their character and everybody brings their A-game. This may be DiCaprio’s finest performance, and that is saying a lot. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (3rd Rock From The Sun, Killshot) may have found his real breakthrough role here, Ellen Page, who was nominated for an Oscar for Juno, delivers a much better performance here than she did in that movie, and Murphy shows a lot more depth than he ever has. I have zero complaints about this film and I walked out of the theatre thinking to myself that I just saw one of the greatest, if not THE greatest, movie ever made.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 10

Inception Movie Trailer

DEAD AND BREAKFAST

Dead And Breakfast Movie Review

A group of friends on their way to a wedding spend a night at a bed and breakfast in a town that is soon overrun by zombies. To call this a comedy-horror is a bit of a stretch as it actually comes off as a straight comedy that happens to have zombies and a ton of gore. I really wanted to like this movie, but I found myself unable to really get into it. There are some funny moments, such as the running gag of the guy singing throughout, but the comedy gets really old really quick, and you are left with little else.

He's bored too

The acting was pretty disappointing considering some of the people involved (Jeremy Sisto, David Carradine, Diedrich Bader) with the one bright spot being Portia de Rossi (Arrested Development, Better Off Ted), but do not watch this with any expectation of seeing much of her; she’s in the film for about a minute, albeit an explosive minute. Some of the death scenes are really creative, so that is another bright spot here. The directing is really bad and at times you wonder what director Matthew Leutwyler was thinking. This is a so-so film with some really good stuff in it but a lot of really bad stuff to sit through to get to it.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Dead And Breakfast Movie Trailer

FLIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

Flight Of The Living Dead Movie Review

A woman injected with a virus to bring the dead back to life in order to fight in wars becomes a flesh eating zombie while being transported on a plane. Soon she is turning passengers and crew into zombies, and all hell breaks loose on the plane. Yes, this could have been called Zombie On A Plane as it plays out pretty much identical to Snakes On A Plane. Despite the obvious rip-off, I liked this movie. This is certainly B-movie garbage, but it works. The zombies look pretty cool (though they make a noise that sounds a lot like a Velociraptor from Jurassic Park) and it is pretty bloody.

Bloody zombie

The CGI are pretty bad a lot of times, so that takes a bit away from it, and most of the acting is horrible as well. But there are a couple good spots in the acting department. Erick Avari (The Mummy, Planet Of The Apes) does a good job as usual, and Kevin J. O’Connor (Lord Of Illusions, Van Helsing) really steals scenes as the criminal being transported. This is a bloody, harmless good time of a movie that is worth a watch.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

Flight Of The Living Dead Movie Trailer

DEADLY FRIEND

Deadly Friend Movie Review

Paul, (Matthew Laborteaux, Little House On The Prairie), a teenage genius with a robot for a best friend, meets Sam (Kristy Swanson, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, The Chase), a girl living with an abusive father, and they strike up a friendship. After his robot is destroyed and Sam is killed, Paul takes the computer mind of the robot and installs it in Sam’s brain to bring her back to life. Now Sam has her mind set on revenge. This 1986 horror film, from director Wes Craven, has “ bad 80’s horror” written all over it, from the bad humor to the robots and computers to the cheesy dialogue (think Maximum Overdrive). I generally happen to enjoy such movies, and I did enjoy this one as well. Swanson is really pretty good here, bringing the sweet wholesomeness of the girl next door in the first half of the movie before becoming pretty creepy in the second half.

Buffy?

There is even a fair bit of unexpected gruesomeness, particularly in one seen. The robot can get pretty annoying at times (but cute other times) and the end is pretty hokey, unfortunately taking from the film, but this is a harmless horror flick that I liked for what it was.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Deadly Friend Movie Trailer