Monday, February 13, 2017

GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN (aka Gigantis, The Fire Monster)

Godzilla Raids Again Movie Review

Released the year following the surprise hit that was Godzilla, this one finds the giant reptile doing battle with more than just humans...but more on that later. The first thing you should know about this movie is the history of it. As just stated, Godzilla was an unexpected hit, so naturally the film makers wanted to follow it up--the problem was, the lovable lizard died at the end of the first film. To keep the series going (and the money rolling in), it was decided that the Godzilla from the original film was just one of its species roaming the planet, so the monster we get here isn't actually Godzilla--it's just another of the species. When the movie was Americanized, the monster's name was even changed to Gigantis, and the film renamed Gigantis, The Fire Monster--it kept this name until the 1980s, when Toho insisted the film be re titled. Got all that? Good...the other notable thing about this film is that it's the first of the franchise to introduce an enemy monster...Anguirus, to be exact.

The Battle is on...and in hyper speed

Probably due to all the mess I have just described, this outing ranks pretty low on my Godzilla list--it's kind of how you don't consider Halloween III when contemplating your favorite Halloween movies, because while it may be a Halloween movie, it doesn't have Michael Myers--though, at least this monster still LOOKS like Godzilla, so I guess it has that over Season of the Witch. The text under the picture refers to the speed of the big monster battle being increased to a comic level, which sucks the wind out of that. Everything else about the movie, including a so bad it's incredible scene with a TOY Godzilla, is just about on par with what you would expect, though the dubbing is worse here than in most. Godzilla Raids Again is still a fun monster movie--it's just not one of the best.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5

Godzilla Raids Again Movie Trailer

Saturday, February 11, 2017


Carnage Park Movie Review

After robbing a bank and taking a hostage, two men—and the hostage, for that matter—find themselves being hunted by a madman in the desert. Okay, so it’s not giving away much, and you can probably assume this from the get go anyway, but it quickly becomes just the hostage (Ashley Bell) being hunted down by the assassin (Pat Healy), a former military man who (apparently) owns half the California desert. This movie starts off strong, with awesome opening credits and movie title frame that will most certainly put you in the mind of 1970s cinema—this is only made better by the yellow tint added in post. There is a fantastic amount of violence and gore early, and it only fades somewhat as the movie progresses.

Here's a taste

Unfortunately, what starts out as a cool throwback to 70s cinema/grindhouse fare turns into run of the mill cat and mouse horror--it's as if writer director Mickey Keating (Pod) had this wonderful idea for a film but then ran out of original thoughts, so he fell back on the tried and true. By the time we get to the final battle sequence (which is dragged out for far too long) you are already thinking about what this movie could have been. Ferris Bueller's Day Off fans will be delighted to see Alan Ruck appear about midway through the film, playing a character that will put you more in mind of Hendry William French than Cameron Frye--by the time he appears the film has begun the downward spiral, and Keating could have somewhat saved the film by dedicating more time to the relationship between Ruck's character as the sheriff/brother of the killer, but alas...Carnage Park, despite its shortcomings, is still a fun film to watch, and if you're into lots of blood and guts, you'll like this one.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Carnage Park Movie Trailer

Wednesday, February 8, 2017


Kristy Movie Review

Members of a cult stalk and terrorize college student Justine (Haley Bennett, The Haunting of Molly Hartley), one of the few students who stayed on campus during the Thanksgiving break. This movie borrows from a LOT of films and concepts that that came before it, so there will be absolutely no points given for originality--that said, the movie really isn't too bad. It's sort of a slasher, sort of a home invasion film, sort of a revenge flick. Bennett does a decent job in the lead role, albeit playing a character who repeatedly makes really dumb decisions. The killers are rather boring, sporting white-boy thug-wannabe clothes and generic masks--except the girl--she looks like your local heroin addict on the corner.

"Hey man, got a smoke?"

So why's this titled Kristy? I'm glad you asked. Kristy comes from the Latin for "follower of God". So this cult is out to kill all the Kristy's--why they are after Justine (other than that she's "pretty") is anybody's guess, as her name isn't Kristy and, as far as we know, she's not a follower of God. When the action gets going, the movie really picks up, though the chase scenes are so drawn out at times you may make the mistake of thinking the movie switched to Run Lola Run. Once Justine decides to fight back, the violence escalates, leading to some gruesome death scenes--always a nice touch. All told, Kristy is a decent horror flick that leaves one wishing it had been more original.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Kristy Movie Trailer

Sunday, February 5, 2017

SPLIT (From The Theatre)

Split Movie Review

Three teenage girls are kidnapped and held captive by Kevin Crumb (James McAvoy, X-Men films), a man with 23 distinct personalities. Now the girls must find a way to escape their underground prison before the deadly 24th personality appears. This psychological horror film from M. Night Shyamalan stunned many with its success in the box office, and having visited the local theatre myself to see it, I can truly say this is a film that actually lives up to the hype--side note that is very not on par with what this site is dedicated to--La La Land is another movie that is every bit as good as people say it is...not...that...I would...ahem...

"Oh, I just LOVE that film!"

"Wait, YOU soar that"

"HAHA! You thaw LaLaLand, esthetra!

The film is equal parts horror and psychological thriller, with something supernatural in the end. The story is very well written and the movie very well shot, but it truly is McAvoy who shines above all else in this film. I know the Academy would likely never consider a movie such as this, but McAvoy turns in one of the finest acting performances I have ever seen in any genre--as somebody who has seen countless numbers of movie based on a person with multiple personalities, I don't believe I have seen anybody pull off every single personality as well as McAvoy does here--it's both incredible and frightening how he switches from one personality to the next seemingly effortlessly. The story plays out as a slow burn, but the pacing is remarkable, and it all leads to an ending that is both memorable and unexpected--the bonus scene just before the credits will delight any Shyamalan fan...speaking of Shyamalan, after the disaster that was his previous film, Split is a return to form fans have waited years for--I personally believe this to be his best outing since Signs. Split is an early candidate for the best horror film of 2017, and is one worth catching on the big screen.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 9

Split Movie Trailer


Blair Witch Movie Review

Years after his sister Heather went missing in the woods of Burkittsville, Maryland, James Donahue (James Allen McCune of The Walking Dead) enlists the help of his girlfriend (Callie Hernandez), his best friend and his girlfriend (Brandon Scott and Corbin Reid), and two strangers (Valorie Curry and Wes Robinson)...

Not THAT Wes Robinson!

...who posted alleged evidence to Heather's case online--naturally, every person has at least one camera to document the entire outing. Fans of the original Blair Witch Project will recognize everything going on in this movie, to the point it almost feels like a remake of the original film--if not for the fact that they are looking for a character from the first film, it could have easily been mistaken for such. The crew finds sticks and stones, walk around in circles, hear strange noises, end up in a house in the end--sound familiar? The acting is fair, and the characters are actually somewhat likable, but the problems with this film, unfortunately, outweigh this. The movie lacks any of the real feeling of the first film, there is virtually no suspense built up, and, worst of all, it lacks anything scary. This too little, too late sequel (actually the third film in the series, but we'll pretend the second one doesn't exist) fails to, in any way, live up to its predecessor, and is ultimately just an average horror flick.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5

Blair Witch Movie Trailer


Prom Night IV: Deliver Us From Evil (Prom Night 4) Movie Review

In 1957, Father Jonas kills a couple teens trying to get it on in the back seat of a car. The church captures and drugs him while attempting to help bring him back to normal. Fast forward to 1991, and Jonas escapes to begin killing again--on prom night, of course. This fourth and, mercifully, final film in the Prom Night series is the most straight forward horror film in the series since the first, and is also the only film where the actual prom has little to do with the story--the four main characters decide to skip the prom, instead going to a secret hideaway that happens to be a place Jonas is familiar with. The movie begins so slow and is so uninteresting your attention will likely be lost almost immediately after the initial scene--it started off hot but went into a deep freeze, and I found it a struggle to get through the rest of the movie.

It's all down hill from here

Once the priest FINALLY gets to the two couples, what was a nothing happening snoozefest turns into a run-of-the-mill slasher film, complete with some uninteresting death scenes and an uninspired finale. The acting throughout the film is the worst in the series, and believe me, that's saying something. The director does absolutely nothing of note to distract from the awful script, and the special effects are dreadful. There are a couple bright spots in the film---the scene with the kid on the roof and Jonas stabbing through at him is interesting, and Nicole de Boer of Cube fame makes Meagan a character you can cheer for--if, for nothing else, to get a better boyfriend, which, you know, this being a horror film and she being the lead character, she likely will sometime in the future. Speaking of Cube, THAT is a series worth watching--and reviewing...I'll get around to it some day. Anyway, Prom Night IV: Deliver Us From Evil sent the Prom Night series out with a whimper. Unless you are marathoning the series, there's no real reason to watch this movie.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 3

Prom Night IV: Deliver Us From Evil Movie Trailer

Saturday, February 4, 2017


Prom Night 3: The Last Kiss (Prom Night 3) Movie Review

Mary Lou Maloney (played by Courtney Taylor in this one) returns from Hell to haunt Hamilton High once more, this time killing off the enemies--and eventually friends--of Alex Grey (Tim Conlon). Along with a new actress playing Mary Lou, two things immediately jumped out to me as I watched this film--it was far more comedy than horror, and what I was watching, though it was on DVD (the double feature version with Prom Night 4, to be exact), was the television edit version of the film. Casting Taylor as Mary Lou was an upgrade in both the talent and looks categories--I spent much of this film trying to figure out where I knew her from, but came to the conclusion I didn't actually know her from anything--she just looked like a lot of other girls from the late 80s/early 90s.

See what I mean?

The comedy in this movie is really bad overall (it is Canadian, after all), but there is some subtle stuff here and there that will make you chuckle. There is no true horror in the film, though there is a bit of gore I didn't really expect. The special effects are so bad they're good, the acting is pretty awful across the board, and the story is fairly bland, but there is some strange charm about this film that will keep you interested along the way. If you're in the mood for a quirky comedy with a splash of horror, you may like this one, but it's far from being a good film in any way, shape, or form.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 4

Prom Night 3: The Last Kiss Movie Trailer