Showing posts with label 6/10. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 6/10. Show all posts

Monday, October 24, 2022

TRILOGY OF TERROR

Trilogy of Terror Movie Review

The title pretty much says it all here--this is a collection of three stories of terror. All written by Richard Matheson, the stories were made into a movie that aired on broadcast television as part of the ABC Tuesday Movie of the Week. 

1970's awesomeness

All three stories featured Karen Black, likely best known to Rob Zombie and horror fans as Mother Firefly from House of 1,000 Corpses, and to Mike Patton fans for her duel role in Firecracker.

"Yes, I starred in a movie, too!"

In the first story, Black plays Julie, an English teacher with a student who has a deadly crush on her. He convinces her to go on a date, and once out, he drugs her. From there, he manipulates her, only to find out later the mouse may actually be the cat. While not really pushing up too closely to horror, this was a nice way to start off. 

"How you doin?"

In the second story, Black plays twin sisters Millicent and Therese--the former is a bit of a prude, while the latter is more, shall we say, outgoing. Millicent tells the family therapist Theresa has had sex with their father, and, believing her to be evil, plans to kill her. The weakest of the installments, I found this one kind of hard to get through. There is a twist, but you'll likely see it coming. 

No, thanks. There's at least two people sitting there already

The third and final installment is what we all watch this movie for. Here, Black plays Amelia, a woman who has just purchased a doll possessed with the spirit of a Zuni warrior. There's a gold chain wrapped around the doll, and as long as the chain stays intact, the doll is harmless. 

What could go wrong?

Being a made for television movie, this stuff was pretty terrifying for the time--in fact, most will put it on their list of scariest TV movies. For me, it's not the Zuni that makes the segment scary--the voice takes away that element for me. What really makes this one is Black's performance. You can feel the terror she's experiencing as she tries to figure out what to do with this monster. The closing scene (allegedly Black's idea) is fantastic as well. 

Don't smile, don't smile, don't smile

All these years later, Trilogy of Terror lives in the minds of elder horror fans (ones even older than me) as something that frightened them in their youth, and it's easy to see why. Amelia is something to be seen for sure, and if the other two segments were as strong, this movie would have a much higher score. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Trilogy of Terror TV Spot

Friday, October 7, 2022

GARGOYLES

Gargoyles Movie Review

Dr. Mercer Boley (Cornel Wilde) and his daughter, Diana (Jennifer Salt), come across the skeleton of a winged creature. They're convinced it's a hoax, until very much alive monsters begin coming for the skeleton's skull. Of course, the beasts in question are gargoyles--if the title of the movie didn't give this away, then certainly the opening, featuring gargoyle statues, would have. Gargoyles is a 1972 made-for-television movie, something that was a network staple back in the day, but that died over time. CBS presented this one as part of its The New CBS Tuesday Night Movies series.

Groovy

As a kid, I was fascinated by gargoyles. I thought they looked really cool, and I loved seeing their statues on buildings. Naturally, I enjoyed this movie as well. As I grew, I still loved gargoyles--I even had a small, rubber gargoyle for years, playing with it when I was a child and placing it in my car as a decoration when I got older. Unfortunately, I lost that, lots of other fun stuff, and my cherished Max Headroom skateboard when my car was stolen (thanks, Fort Wayne, Indiana). Now, as an old dude, I still think gargoyles look awesome, and I revisited this movie for the first time in years. 

"Don't make me wait this long again"

Being a television movie, we can immediately throw out any profanity, nudity, gore, or anything else that could warrant an R rating. We also know the budget will be limited, so not a ton will be spent on sets, special effects, and so on. Even with this, the gargoyles themselves still look rather scary--in fact, I would argue they are scarier than most creatures we see in big budget films of the time, or even since. 

No CGI here!

The acting is rough, and Wilde doesn't make for much of a hero. The actor and character are dull, and with the added humans providing no more reason to really care about any of them, I found myself cheering for the gargoyles. Most unfortunately, when there is action of any kind, it takes place in slow motion--this, as my loyal readers know, is a major pet peeve of mine. Bernie Casey, the actor who plays the leader of the gargoyles--credited simply as "The Gargoyle"--has his voice dubbed by somebody else, so that is kind of distracting as well. Oh, and you will likely recognize the man in the rubber gargoyle suit as...

U.N. Jefferson!

These things aside, there is plenty to like about this movie--the desert setting and locations are fantastic, there are some creepy scenes, and, of course, the gargoyles are the star attraction. As with many things, this movie probably lives better in memory than in reality--still, Gargoyles is a fun watch, and I'm happy I saw it again. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Sunday, October 2, 2022

A QUIET PLACE PART II

A Quiet Place Part II Movie Review

A little over a year after the events of the first movie, Evelyn (Emily Blunt, The Wolfman) and her three children are trying to find a place to live and survive. They come across Emmett (Cillian Murphy, 28 Days Later), a family friend from when things were normal, but in a world where it's seemingly every person for themselves, can he be trusted? 

Would you trust him?

The 2021 sequel follows a similar pattern as the original--the monsters are taking over the planet, and the only way to survive them is to be quiet. They do have a bit more knowledge of the creatures, however, and are more capable of fighting them off now. The movie is largely familiar territory--we even get a look at the moment the beasts begin their attack, and this prequel look is the best part of the movie. The rest plays out with enough actual story and action to be an episode of The Twilight Zone, only dragged out to hit the magical 90 minute mark (or 97 minutes, to be exact). The entire movie unfolds almost exactly as you would expect it to, with little mystery or surprise. The acting is fair, but it's the settings that kind of steal the show, as we see our characters go from small town, to the woods, to an abandoned building, and to their final destinations, which I will not spoil here. The ending is as abrupt as it is unsatisfying. A Quiet Place probably didn't need a sequel, but alas, a sequel we got, and as is the case with most, it's a step down from the original. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

A Quiet Place Part II Movie Trailer

Saturday, October 1, 2022

THE BLACK PHONE

The Black Phone Movie Review

Living in a town terrorized by a possible child killer, Finney (Mason Thames), a young boy frequently picked on at school, is kidnapped and placed in a basement. His only connection to the outside world is a disconnected...yes...black phone. The man who took Finney, known simply as The Grabber (Ethan Hawke, Sinister), suggests the phone doesn't work, but Finney soon finds himself receiving mysterious calls on it. This 2021 film was released with a fair amount of attention and adoration. The thriller did well at the box office, earned many rave reviews, and was the talk of the town in the horror community for a bit. It came to Peacock soon after, and that's where I decided to check it out--while not a bad movie, I'm thankful I decided to bypass paying to see it at the theater.

Depp-Wonka's evil younger brother?

Set in 1978, the movie does bring the nostalgia--this carries the viewer for much of the first act, as most of the rest of this time is spent meeting uninteresting characters. Naturally, once Finney is taken, things pick up, and the movie begins to take turns you may not expect. Without giving away too much, I'll say I had no idea the movie would cross over into a horror genre that is not slasher, and the results are mixed. Hawke is as good as you would expect, even if he toys with going a bit too Nicolas Cage. The child actors, on the other hand, are a struggle. Thames is okay in the lead role, but most of the rest of the children--especially Madeleine McGraw as his sister, Gwen--leave a lot to be desired. The acting is so bad at times it almost takes you entirely out of the movie. There is some suspense for sure, even if we know how the movie will end. The gore is left to a minimal, though one scene in particular is jarring in its brutality. Oh yeah, there's that cool mask too.

"Thank you so much for remembering!"

The Black Phone is a decent horror flick--it may not be as good as you've heard, but it is one worth checking out--if nothing else, it has a somewhat original story, and is not a sequel, reboot, or remake. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

The Black Phone Movie Trailer

Monday, August 8, 2022

V/H/S/94

V/H/S/94 Movie Review

Remember the days of VHS? The filmmakers here sure do (or at least pretend to), and they are bringing them back in a most 1990's way. Yes, this is the fourth movie in a series that previously brought us V/H/S, V/H/S/2. and V/H/S: Viral

"I like them"

We begin with "Holy Hell", which serves as the wraparound story. A SWAT team raids a warehouse, where they discover dead bodies, evidence of ritualistic sacrifices, and other signs of degenerative behavior from a cult group. This is all loud, with tons of audio effects and screaming people, guns, and so on. This part is not written particularly well--in fact, the dialogue is abysmal, and the story is only mildly interesting, leading to a plot twist that is obvious. 

They look suspicious

The first full story we get is "Storm Drain". A news reporter (Anna Hopkins) and camera operator (Christian Potenza) go on location to a storm drain to report on the local legend of a half man, half rat that hangs out in the sewers of Westerville, Ohio, a suburb of my hometown, Columbus. Much like the opening, this one is not written well, with dull dialogue. The reporter interviews a few people, including a guy with an assault rifle who likely wouldn't be allowed within the city limits of Westerville in real life. Another person interviewed is a minister, and he makes a return later in a big way. This one, like every segment in this anthology, borrows heavily from many other films--the ritualistic stuff is fair, but the reveal of the mutant monster is impressive, with a cool creature feature throwback feel. The practical effects, especially with the closing moments, are satisfying as well. The closing also mentions a pumpkin festival of some sort, reminding me of Circleville, Ohio--references to places I grew up only add to my enjoyment of this segment. 

I could see this coming out of Circleville

Next up is "The Empty Wake". A dead man's family requests his wake be recorded all night, and poor Hayley (Kyal Legend) is assigned the job of staying with the body. We find the man had committed suicide, and was so badly mangled the casket is closed. There's not much turn out, and Hayley spends almost the entire time alone--until, of course, the dead man comes to life. This segment does a nice job with a slow burn type approach--not a lot is happening, but with every small step, the tension, and Hayley's fear, builds. What we see when the man emerges from the casket is nothing short of frightening, and the closing minutes of this segment are fantastic. 

If this casket's a-rockin'

In "The Subject", Dr. James Suhendra is experimenting with machine-human hybrids. He is a wanted man, and the police soon track him down, killing him somewhat in cold blood. The police force then find themselves trapped in the building, and doing battle with Suhendra's subjects. Grey area is created when one of the police officers tries to help one of the hybrid monsters, who herself realizes what she has been turn into. Both the best and worst of this segment come visually. The hybrids, especially the one we get the camera point of view from, look stunning. Unfortunately, a decent story gives way to gunfire, gunfire, and more gunfire. Worst of all, once the action really gets going, it looks like we're watching somebody play a first-person shooter video game. I've enjoyed playing those games a time or two in my day (I can't tell you how many quarters I put into the "House of the Dead" arcade back in the day), but watching somebody else play them--especially when what I am trying to watch is a movie--is not my cup of tea. 

Reload!

The final segment is "Terror". In some attempt to make America great again, a wacko militia redneck group that looks like they may be from the aforementioned Circleville plans on bombing a government building in Detroit. Strapped with guns and a combined IQ that would struggle to reach triple digits, the men document their grand plan. Their weapon? The blood of a vampire they have captured. How to use said weapon? Inject the blood into animals and allow sunlight to hit them, blowing them, and everything around them, to bits. The idea is cool, and when the idiots inevitably face off with the vampire, we find the creature looks quite unique and terrifying. Visually, this one has what we expect as well, as it legitimately looks like somebody's home recording from the early 1990's. The beginning of "Terror" is rough, but my goodness, does it ever turn out to be more entertaining than it had any business being. 

If this doesn't say Circleville...

If you gave up on this franchise after Viral, you may want to come back to the series. This one is a Shudder exclusive, and at the time of its release, it was the most successful movie premiere for the streaming service. While not quite as good as the first V/H/S/, it is a step up from the second outing, and much better than Viral. I wish the wraparound story was better, and that "The Subject" would not have gone all "Doom" on us, but "Storm Drain" and "The Wake" are decent, and "Terror" is borderline must-see. The fifth installment, titled V/H/S/99, has been announced, with a release date of October 20, 2022--V/H/S/94 has made me somewhat excited to see this. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

V/H/S/94 Movie Trailer

Thursday, May 26, 2022

CEMETERY OF TERROR (Cementerio Del Terror)

Cemetery of Terror Movie Review

A group of bored teens at a party decide to liven things up by stealing the corpse of a serial killer and performing a ritual to bring him back to life--what a great idea! Meanwhile, a gang of younger kids out trick or treating find themselves in the same cemetery that housed the ritual. Finally, on his way to save the day (eventually), is Dr. Cardan, played by the legendary Hugo Stiglitz. 

The face of a hero?

This 1985 Mexican film has a painfully slow start--we get a lot of introduction of the characters, build up of the party, and little else--and this goes on for about 50 minutes. Stick with it though--once the teens get bored of the party and kidnap the cadaver, this one takes off. When the reanimated corpse makes it to the party, the kills come fast and often--so often, in fact, you will begin to wonder what the rest of the movie will consist of. The answer, of course, is switching to the children, but what you may not expect is that at that moment, this slasher film all but transforms into a zombie movie! Yes, the killer himself was technically a zombie, but here, I'm talking about corpses rising from their graves to pursue the kids. Some of the visuals are quite entertaining--the zombies look like they came from Michael Jackson's Thriller video, the lights coming from the graves remind one of a haunted house attraction, and the set looks like it came from an Ed Wood film.

"Dang, I left my lava lamp on"

Take the above elements and throw in some slick practical effects and you have the makings of a really fun flick. The ending will have you rolling your eyes, but there is a bit of cheesiness with it that may also make you smile. Had the first 50 minutes or so been more interesting, this could have been a classic--as it is, Cemetery of Terror stands as evidence that patience sometimes pays off nicely. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Cemetery of Terror Movie Trailer

Monday, February 21, 2022

HOUSE ON WILLOW STREET

House on Willow Street Movie Review

Hazel (Sharni Vinson, You're Next) leads a group of criminals as they break into a house and kidnap the daughter of a rich dude. Unfortunately for the kidnappers, the daughter, Katherine (Carlyn Burchell), is hiding a secret that will result in the tables being turned on the bad guys. South Africa offers up this 2016 horror flick that was originally titled From the House on Willow Street--I kind of like that better, but let's move it along. I'm not giving away too much to say that there's something very evil about Katherine, and the casting of Burchell for this role was perfect--she has a natural look that lends itself well to this character, and what she becomes later.

Does she look like somebody you want to kidnap?

This movie actually gets off to a great start--once Katherine is chained up, we begin seeing the human side of her kidnappers, and the not so human side of her. This leads to a fairly engaging story that plays out well--at least at first. The special effects are decent for the budget, but that all falls apart during the fiery climax. Once Burchell is in full makeup, she looks wonderfully wicked, though scaling it back just a bit would have probably resulted in a scarier character. She does great with her own voice, but this gives way to the less interesting demon voice we get in almost every possession type film. The acting struggles a bit--Burchell and Vinson turn in good performances, but the rest of the cast is much weaker. We see several ghosts throughout, and the work here is impressive--a comparison to Thir13en Ghosts would be fair. The fault of the movie is in its jump scares reliance--they are far too frequent, to the point you see them coming a mile away. The ending is a bit disappointing, both in story and visuals. House on Willow Street is not a great horror film, and is one you will likely forget, or maybe confuse with dozens of similar films, but there is enough going on to keep your attention the entire way.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

House on Willow Street Movie Review

Wednesday, June 16, 2021

HIDE AND GO SHRIEK

Hide and Go Shriek Movie Review

A group of high school kids go to a large furniture store, owned by one of their parents, to have a party. Unfortunately, a killer soon arrives, and a bloodbath ensues. I have to admit, before even watching a second of this film, I had already given it at least a star or two for having such a wonderful title. 

"It's totally rad"

On their way to the party, the youths all get out of the van and run around it before getting back in--I know what we called this back in the day, but I'm pretty sure if I say it now, somebody, somewhere will be offended--I'll just rename it the bored white kids with nothing better to do whilst stopped at a red light fire drill. 

I'm not sure they even do this in China

Once the youngsters are all at the store, this movie feels very familiar--if I say "a group of teens partying at a creepy location split up and explore the building", which movie are you picturing? That's rhetorical, but there are probably at least a dozen movies from the 1980's alone that fit this description--not that I'm complaining, as I am a fan of most, if not all, such flicks. One thing that certainly separates this from most is the first teen to go--I obviously won't give it away, but will say it surprised me. The ending is also somewhat of a surprise, but we'll save that for, well, the end. 

Hey, let's not get ahead of ourselves!

Aside from a few exceptions, the movie plays out as you expect--there's bad acting (but in that charming 1980's manner), the characters are largely interchangeable, the bodies begin falling as the survivors try to escape the killer...you get the picture. That said, for having such a large cast, the kills are few. The death scenes we do get are decent, and range from happening off screen to a beheading that may or may not have inspired a scene from Final Destination 2. There's not a lot of consistency with the killer--at times he seems to have Powers of Pain level strength, but when we finally see him, he's less Warlord and more Mulkey Brother. The lighting is bad for most of the film, though sometimes it does sort of look like some odd nod to the iris shots of the silent era--when viewed with that in mind, it's much more tolerable. Speaking of lighting, it gets splashed with lots of red in the final third of this movie--combined with the quick, frantic editing, the movie suddenly feels like a throwback to the grindhouse days. This all brings us to the ending, and the reveal of the killer--the surprise here is not so much in who he is, but rather his relationship with another character in the movie. Again, I won't journey off into spoilerville, but this was a movie element you didn't see a lot of in 1980's horror, so much credit must be given for uniqueness. If you measure Hide and Go Shriek in terms of what is traditionally considered to be a "good movie", it will fail--no, this is not a good movie, but all the bizarre individual elements do add up to form a very entertaining film, and one I can't help but to recommend. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

Hide and Go Shriek Movie Trailer

Saturday, June 12, 2021

LIFEFORCE

 

Lifeforce Movie Review

A spacecraft in charge of observing Halley's Comet comes across three human-looking space vampires...yes, you read that right. The creatures are brought to Earth, and, of course, chaos ensues. Meanwhile, Col. Tom Carlsen (Steve Railsback) seems to be falling for the female vampire, credited simply as "Space Girl" (Mathilda May)--she spends much of the first thirty minutes of the movie walking around naked and killing people.

This is all you're getting here

This 1985 film, directed by Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chain Saw Massacre), was a disaster in just about every way possible upon release--it bombed in the box office, was panned by critics, and chopped up by editors. The movie can now be found in the form it was intended to be, but wow, is it ever a bizarre ride. I've really just kind of scratched the surface of the story, but that could be because I'm trying to make sense of the senseless--in fact, don't even bother trying to follow what is going on--just enjoy this movie for what it is. This flick really has it all--the good, the bad, and the so bad it's good, and this starts with the special effects. When they are good, they are fantastic, especially the practical effects. 

Vampire zombie thing

On the flip side, we have the bad...and it's really, really bad.

Outer space discothèque

The acting is much the same, and Railsback is so over the top at times you wonder if what you are seeing is amateur hour or absolute brilliance. There are scenes near the end that, for a few seconds, look like Ghostbusters slipped into some strange parallel universe. There is a fair amount of blood, and Patrick Stewart of X-Men fame even pops in for a little bit. The movie was based on a book titled The Space Vampires, and I don't have any idea how closely it follows said book, but at almost two hours (the uncut version I watched), the movie runs long. This all leads to an ending that is as baffling as the rest of the film. The world was not quite ready for Lifeforce when it was released in 1985...in fact, it probably still isn't ready for it. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6


Lifeforce Movie Trailer

Monday, April 26, 2021

FADE TO BLACK

Fade To Black Movie Review

There's this creepy weirdo dude who is absolutely obsessed with movies, and he has little touch with reality.

Not THIS weirdo!

This particular guy is named Eric (Dennis Christopher), and he is infatuated with a woman who looks like Marilyn Monroe (Linda Kerridge). Eric, already rather unhinged, goes completely mad, and imitates characters from classic movies while going on a killing spree. This genre-bending flick from 1980 sounds bizarre, and is likely even more so than you are thinking, as practically every approach and angle in this movie is non-traditional. There is a fair balance of hit and miss with this, with the highlight being the clips of older movies thrown in to match Eric's personality. I don't want to give away any of the films we see, but even a brief glimpse at the movie poster will give a lot away. 

But here's Marilyn, in case you're wondering

While the idea of the movie is unique, it's the acting that sinks this one. Christopher reminded me of a young Roddy McDowall at times, which brought a smile to my face, but he wasn't a great choice for this role--one can only imagine how much better this movie would have been with a more talented lead. None of the rest of the acting is any better, but there is one actor of note in this one, as a young Mickey Rourke pops up to play a tough guy/bully.

I'm as surprised as you are

Most unfortunate is the ending, which seemingly drags on forever, leading to a disappointing finale. Fade To Black is a really hard one to grade--it has the likability of a movie that's so bad it's good, but also has elements that are so bad they're unbearable, and ones so good they'll surprise you...any way you to slice it, if nothing else, this is a movie worth checking out.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Fade To Black Movie Trailer

Wednesday, April 21, 2021

THE MCPHERSON TAPE (aka U.F.O. Abduction)

The McPherson Tape Movie Review

Back in the early to mid 1990's, there was a television show called Sightings. I would record this show on VHS and usually watch it Saturday or Sunday night around two or three in the morning. The show was all about catching the unexplained on tape (think Paranormal Caught on Camera, but on actual tape) and discussing mysteries of the universe, and living out in the middle of nowhere in Ohio, and watching this half asleep at three in the morning after a long Saturday night, it often scared the dickens out of me.

I get you, Frank

One video I specifically remembered throughout the years featured a couple guys capturing a U.F.O. and aliens out in a field, being chased by them, killing one, and carrying it into their house. I remember thinking this looked eerie and somewhat real, and since then, the visions stuck with me, though I had not seen the video since those days. Flash forward to 2021, and while scrolling through Shudder, I see a movie titled The McPherson Tape, and decide to give it a shot. Almost as soon as the movie started, the part of my mind buried somewhere deep in my brain that had held onto the memories of that video resurfaced, and I immediately recognized that this is what I had seen so many years ago (though research discovered there was one thing my memory had wrong--it wasn't Sightings that showed this, but a similar show I used to watch titled Encounters that did). Though that part of my memory was flawed, when I saw the spaceship, the aliens, and the guy carrying one into the house, I realized the visions I carried were spot-on. 

It's like it was removed from my head

Here's the deal with this footage--it was shot in 1989, and the story is that all this chaos happens in 1983, at a little girl's birthday party. Tapes of this made their way around in the early 1990's (before the Internet, for all you younger readers), and it was reported to be actual footage--this was plausible, as the tape that found its was into the hands of the true believers had no credits at all--it literally started with the party, and ended with the final shot. The footage looked real, as if somebody shot it on their home camcorder. There was also nobody coming forward to take credit for shooting this. All this added up to many, many people claiming and believing this to be legitimate footage of actual aliens caught on tape.

It wasn't

The true story is this was a film shot in 1989 with practically no budget. After having a very limited release, the master tape was destroyed before distribution, and only pirated versions, with all the credits removed, were making the rounds. All things considered, one can understand why this was so believable--the term "found footage film" was a good ten years from being a part of regular vocabulary, and though a few such movies did exist prior to 1989, they were quite unusual at the time. The movie was finally publicly acknowledged to be a scripted film in 2012, and the director, Dean Alioto (who doubled as Michael in the movie), sold VHS copies of the movie in 2003--it didn't become available on DVD and digital until 2018. 

"It took THAT long?"

Now that we have the story of the movie, let's talk about the film itself. Watching this, you could easily tell why so many believed it to be real--it feels really, really real...at least at first. The opening scenes at the party truly make you feel like you are watching a family's home video. The scenes with the aliens, when they are at a distance, look authentic as well. If all you saw was this--the couple scenes with the aliens and the family prior to the sighting--you could believe what you are watching is real. The believability collapses, however, once the family goes into panic mode, the overacting kicks in, and the story goes sideways, as we see the characters following voices, going from terror to calm at the drop of a hat, and we get the one thing I can never stomach in found footage flicks--the holder of the camera not only continuing to shoot everything, even in the face of death, but also pointing the camera in the right place at the right time every time. Still, for the budget, and for not really having much of a blueprint for how to make such a movie, this one is decent, and has some genuinely creepy moments, including a very good ending. On a personal note, it was really cool seeing the pieces of the puzzle in my mind come together (I also had an image of the three girls in the alien costumes holding the heads floating around up there, but I had no idea where I had seen the picture before--as soon as I saw the aliens up close, that picture popped into my head) to form the entire picture after all these years. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

The McPherson Tape Movie Trailer

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

FERAL

Feral Movie Review

A group of friends lost in the woods are stalked by a virus-infected, zombie-mutant-creature thing. When the friends come across a loner (Lew Temple of The Devil's Rejects), they learn the creature is a person with the feral disease, a contagious condition that turns the victim into a killing machine. Should they believe the words of this stranger, or is he really the one behind all the evil? I sighed a bit as the movie started and I saw...

this

My expectations were low from the start, but the opening scene did manage to catch my attention. It went away a bit as we met the characters, and there wasn't much to like about any of them. Once I caught a glimpse of the zombie, however, my interest returned. At first, we don't get a good look at the monster, as it runs quickly and creepily through the woods.

He's no Bigfoot

Naturally, the feral beast eventually catches up with the others, creating more creatures. The makeup job on these beings is really well done for what was certainly a limited budget. The creature is somewhat undefined--it is a zombie for certain, but beyond that, one could easily compare it to a werewolf and vampire. You will likely either love this mix or hate that they never fully dedicated to one idea. I personally would tend to fall into the latter, but in this movie, I did kind of dig the hybrid approach; that said, this is unquestionably a zombie movie. The acting is rough, but you will recognize a couple other faces, as Scout Taylor-Compton of Rob Zombie's take on Halloween plays the lead (and is much more likable in this film than she was as Laurie Strode), and Olivia Luccardi of the highly overrated It Follows plays her girlfriend. There is a good bit of carnage in the movie, so the gorehounds will like that, if nothing else. Unfortunately, the story itself kind of hits a dead end long before the movie does. The final act plods along until we get a rather predictable ending that we have seen many times before. Even with this, Feral was much more entertaining than I expected it to be. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6


Feral Movie Trailer

Sunday, March 21, 2021

BLOODY BIRTHDAY

Bloody Birthday Movie Review

Three kids born during an eclipse turn into vicious killers right around the age of ten. Released during the Golden Age of slasher films, this 1981 flick tries to bring something a little different to the table with the bloodthirsty brats. 

"Is it a machete?!"

The first thing you should probably know is that, despite the title, there's not a lot of bloodshed in this one, though the body count is fairly high. The kids actually turn in decent performances, with Billy Jayne as Curtis leading the way. Jayne plays the character so well you may find yourself wanting to reach through your screen to smack him. In a very early appearance, multi-talented 1980's pop culture star Julie Brown (the one from Earth Girls Are Easy, not the one from Downtown) pops up in a supporting role in this film, a few years prior to seeing her seemingly everywhere you turned. 

Wubba Wubba Wubba

As for everything else in the movie...it's just sort of there. The story plods along. Much of the rest of the acting is bad, but it's nothing too terrible. The dialogue is what you would expect from a movie of this era. There's the predictable number of topless women. There are a couple interesting death scenes, and some somewhat unexpected moments to keep you glued. The ending is a bit flat, but promises a potentially interesting sequel--unfortunately, the movie was a bust, and said sequel never saw the light of day. Bloody Birthday skims just above the surface of 1980's slasher mediocrity--there are better films out there from this era, but there are also a lot worse ones.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Bloody Birthday Movie Trailer