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Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse Movie Review
A boy scout who looks like Derek from Scream 2 teams up with a scout who looks like Chunk from The Goonies and one who looks like Mark from Empire Records, and, with the assistance of a "cocktail waitress" from a strip club who looks like Frankie from Tuff Turf, battle the walking dead in their small town. Okay, so we've all seen enough of these zombie comedies to know what to expect here, and unfortunately, this film never really reaches past what is expected. There will be blood, boobs, juvenile humor, tons of profanity, and the occasional nod to the horror genre thrown in.
And zombie cats, of course
Fortunately, some of the comedy is actually funny, and the more subtle things (the zombie wearing the yolo shirt, the flickering "live" light at the strip club, the roller derby zombie) work as well. Practically everything about this movie screams "run of the mill", except the teens here are actually somewhat likable, a true rarity in film these days. One of the newest entries in the watered down zomedy genre, Scouts Guide hit theatres and kind of bombed--this may be a sign that it's time to retire this subgenre, go back to the drawing board, and try something different. Still, if the zombie comedy is your thing, you could do worse than this movie.
On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6
Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse Movie Trailer
Debris from a Soviet space station lands in a New York subway, unleashing killer aliens disguised as spiders. Now the Russian scientist behind the experiment, the U.S. military, and a guy working for the city and his soon to be ex wife attempt to control the outbreak. Interestingly, just prior to watching this movie I was reading a poorly written list of different techniques filmmakers used prior to the days of the CGI takeover, the article reflecting on how creativity was more an art form back then, while I reflected on learning all this in college--anyway, mere moments after reading that article I was subjected to Spiders, a film that makes liberal use of CGI, and in 3D at that. I watched this movie via Netflix so I can't comment on how this may look in 3D, but I can't imagine it's much more impressive than what I saw.
Itsy bitsy...
The acting in this movie is pretty bad--imagine a SyFy original, only worse. That said, the aforementioned CGI is probably a step up from those films, so there's that. The story is...rough. You may find yourself wondering how a guy working in an office with no apparent combat training can get the jump on a military trained tactical specialist. You may wonder why the General (or Colonel, or whoever he was...the leader--we'll go with that) won't listen to a word the one guy who actually knows what the hell is going on is saying. You may wonder why everybody, including doctors and/or scientist, repeatedly refer to spiders as insects. You may wonder why Christa Campbell has had so much work done on her face that she can barely move it now, and I will have no answers for any of these questions. The set--let me preface this by saying I have never actually been to Manhattan, but it doesn't take a New Yorker to recognize this is not, in fact, New York City (get a rope)--it looks more like the sets at Universal Orlando, but it's not even that awesome--it was shot on a set in Bulgaria, of all places. I do enjoy the attempt to revitalize the creature feature genre of the 1950s/60s, and this movie gives it an earnest shot, including a decent military vs monster scene near the end, but this movie falls well short of the classics. Still, this is a harmless little movie that brings at least a bit of entertainment value--I'm not sure it's worth the 90 minutes you would have to dedicate to it though.
Veteran tabloid reporter Dees (Miguel Ferrer, Robocop, Tales From The Crypt) and rookie reporter Blair (Julie Entwisle) compete to see who can best capture the story of "The Night Flier", a vampire-like killer travelling via airplane. This is a 1997 film adaptation of a Stephen King story and, as is the case with many such films, is a case of something loaded with potential but ultimately languishes in mediocrity, combining the magnificent with the terribly awful to get there. Lets start with the cast--you know what to expect from Ferrer, as he plays virtually every character he is given in the same exact way, and my goodness does he ever have a talent for annoying me. On the other hand, Entwisle delivers a memorable debut performance, one that would certainly lead to many great roles, ultimately resulting in her becoming a shining star in Hollywood--only that never happened. To date she has only appeared in one other film, the star-studded 1997 comedy In & Out, where she played the role of..."Student".
Pondering her career choices?
We also get a fantastic performance from legendary actor (and fellow Ohio University alum) Dan Monahan, best known for playing this guy...
See anything interesting?
I personally was amazed that in the fifteen years between when Porky's came out and when the The Night Flier (eventually) hit theaters, the guy barely aged.
His vision got worse...
Beyond the performances, we have death scenes here and there, primarily taking place off camera. We get plenty of blood and guts (and a severed head here and there) to keep our attention, which this film easily loses with it's plodding story, horrendous dialogue, and uninteresting "hero". Once you make it through the first 75 minutes of the film though, you are treated to a very good (and violent, and bloody, and partially black and white) ending that not even a vampire peeing blood or the "acting" of Miguel Ferrer can ruin--the final fifteen minutes save this film from being a complete waste of time.
On A....wait, what? Oh, you want to see what The Night Flier looks like? Okay...
Ghidorah, a vicious three-headed monster from outer space, arrives outside Tokyo to unleash destruction upon Earth. It's up to Mothra and, much to their hesitation, Godzilla and Rodan, to battle the beast and save the planet. This 1964 film is brought to us by director Ishiro Honda, the man responsible for all the original Godzilla films (as well as several other monster movies) and it delivers the goods. Of course Godzilla and Rodan look as awesome as always, and Ghidorah, making his debut here, proves to be perhaps the most impressive nemesis of any Godzilla film. The final battle features all four monsters, providing awesomeness the likes of which this world rarely sees.
Behold and appreciate
We even get a battle for the ages between Godzilla and Rodan prior to the two joining forces. Naturally, there's a lot more going on in this film as well (we HAVE to have a human element don't we?), and it's all fairly bizarre. We have a princess (Akiko Wakabayashi) who, after narrowly escaping (somehow) an exploding plane, is possessed (?) by an alien being coming to Earth to warn us of Ghidorah's intentions. We have assassins trying to track the alien/princess down, trying to finish the job they failed at when they blew up the plane. There are numerous "experts" and scientists of one sort or another coming and going constantly. And perhaps most bizarre/awesome, there is a conversation between Godzilla, Mothra, and Rodan interpreted by twin fairy friends of Mothra who talk simultaneously, one saying the same thing as the other, with voices that may put one in mind of chipmunks, and they look, well, lets just see a picture...
There they are
To top this scene off perfectly, the girls actually admonish Godzilla for using foul language. This film is historic for two reasons: it is the first appearance in film of Ghidorah, and is the last movie (among the originals anyway) Godzilla appears in as anything other than a full-blown hero. The scenes with the miniatures are fantastic--look, we all know the monsters are guys in rubber suits stomping on fake buildings and throwing fake rocks, but it is that charm that makes these films so lovable and truly cherished--the scene of Ghidorah's initial rampage is brilliant in this sense, and the scene of Ghidorah first forming is incredibly memorable (it's in the trailer below, starting at 24 seconds). If you are a monster movie fan (as I am), Ghidorah, The Three-Headed Monster is an absolute must-see film.
Maddie (Kate Siegel) is a deaf writer living in a house out in the woods and struggling to finish the follow-up to her first successful novel. Her mundane life becomes more interesting one night, however, as a masked killer shows up at her door. This 2016 film from Mike Flanagan (Oculus) fires on all cylinders, resulting in a truly terrifying movie. The premise itself is scary enough--a home invasion--but add to this the victim being deaf and not able to know, at times, there is somebody watching her, and you get edge of your seat terror.
For God's sake, turn around!
It is by pure chance the movie I most recently reviewed before this one has a similar storyline, but if you look at that review you will see everything that is wrong with using silence to build tension in a film--Hush is the complete opposite, using silence to leave the viewer biting his or her nails while trembling in fear. Adding to the uneasy feeling is knowing the madman isn't there to simply kill Maddie--he wants to make her suffer psychologically, terrorizing her from outside the house while reminding her he can come into the house and finish her off any time he wishes. The acting is solid--Siegel is a compassionate victim while John Gallagher Jr. (10 Cloverfield Lane) is genuinely creepy as the killer.
Jehovah's Witness?
If this isn't enough for your liking there's also a fair bit of blood and gore thrown in, and some of the death scenes are absolutely brutal. Recognize this movie is not everybody's cup of tea--a quick search reveals the run time of this film is 81 minutes and less than 15 minutes of that is spoken dialogue, so if an atmospheric buildup is not your thing, you may want to skip it. Personally I believe Hush to be one of the finest horror films of recent years--it is the movie The Strangers wanted to be.
On A Scale Of One To Ten: 8
Hush Movie Trailer
Here's an added bonus: The song that has been in my head since I watched this movie...
A group of guys travel to Las Vegas for a bachelor party. Because this is Vegas (and a horror movie), things quickly go south after they encounter strippers and hookers, and soon the guys find themselves captured by the Elite Hunting Club. A twist is thrown into this installment of the Hostel series--this being Las Vegas, members of the club bet on the killings. This is the first movie in the series that did not see a theatrical release, and also the first Eli Roth did not have a hand in--both of these points are quite apparent. The bloodshed is toned down, and the more realistic death scenes of the first two films give way to more absurd, computer assisted killings.
And it bugs me
The third (and to date, final) film in the series follows the same basic storyline the first two built, but somebody must have thought "Wait, we ought to bring this to the United States because...well, there's no really good reason to do this except to be a little different...let's do it!" and it was done. Honestly, it takes away from the general uneasiness of the first two films and gives way to the more familiar debauchery of Vegas. They also somehow managed to make the lead characters even more unlikable than in the first film--considerably more unlikable in fact, especially Skyler Stone as Mike, a character you will want to bid on killing yourself mere seconds after he is introduced. Making characters this horrible in films is a double edged sword--common horror movie script says to make the hero one you can cheer for, but making them this unlikable makes it very enjoyable for the viewer when the character eventually meet their demise--the latter works in this film, but no character is made likable enough for you to want to cheer on. Anyway, the ending is a decent one, and though this doesn't feel quite like a Hostel film and falls a little short of the first two, it is still worth watching.
Three American college students (Lauren German, Heather Matarazzo, and Bijou Phillips) are on a European trip when they meet Axelle (Vera Jordanova), a young lady who persuades them to take a detour on their trip. As fate would have it, their new friend isn't quite as kind as she appears to be, and the girls soon find themselves kidnapped and auctioned off to the highest bidding member of The Elite Hunting Club, a group of millionaires who pay to torture and kill people. If this sounds familiar, well...you probably saw the first Hostel film. The sequel is almost the exact same movie, only the male victims are changed to female victims. The only question is...just HOW violent and bloody will this one be?
The scythe's the limit
Mercifully, the sequel moves at a faster pace than the original and the characters are a bit more likable--most unfortunately, the dialogue is just as mind numbing and the story itself fairly uninteresting. Also, much like in the first film, the final act of the film is bloody, brutal, and delivers a fairly decent ending (the final few seconds notwithstanding). If you've seen Hostel and enjoyed it, it's worth watching Hostel II--it's practically the same film, only a little better.
