V/H/S/99

V/H/S/99 Movie Review

The year is 1999, and the fear is Y2K--actually, that's kind of mentioned a bit in passing in this film, but isn't a major concern--I just like how the year is 1999, and the fear is Y2K sounds. A Shudder Original, V/H/S/99 marks the fifth entry in the V/H/S series, and the sixth in the franchise (Siren, a spin-off of the original V/H/S, is in the mix as well). As with the others, the premise is a series of horrors caught on VHS and presented as an anthology. We are missing the usual wraparound story, however--instead, we get a bit of an interlude between them. These feature stop-motion action starring toy soldiers, shot by a character we will see in one of the stories later on. 

The Germans didn't fare well

Our first segment is titled "Shredding". An irritating, self-titled "punk" band (their music doesn't sound punk at all, but don't get me started on that) enjoys skateboarding, making bad music, and pulling pranks--to build a fan base, they record all this and put it on something fairly new called the World Wide Web.

"Pretend we're dead"

Their latest stunt is breaking into an abandoned music venue that once caught fire, killing a somewhat less annoying, somewhat more punk band a few years prior.

They're no L7 either

The results are predictable, but man, you have to love the practical effects used here. The characters in the band are just unlikable enough that you cheer for their demise, though you may feel for the poor drummer. We're not off to a great start, but once the band made it underground, this one got exciting.

Next up is "Suicide Bid". Would you let a group of really annoying women bury you alive overnight so you can join their group? A seemingly smart college student name Lily proves her bulb doesn't glow so bright after all when she agrees to do just that. The group is the most evil of all--a sorority. I could live hundreds of lifetimes and never understand why people subject themselves to the things they do to join college fraternities and sororities, but that's not what we're here to talk about. The reason for the burial also has something to do with a local urban legend, and you know that's going to come into play. While it's hard to feel sorry for Lily (she did voluntarily put herself in this situation), you can certainly understand her fear, and the terror creeps up in this segment, leading to a wonderful ending. 

Looks wonderful to me!

Wanna play a game? If so, our next segment, "Ozzy's Dungeon", might be for you! Ozzy's Dungeon is a children's game show--picture Double Dare in The Upside Down, with the Fly Girls from In Living Color, and hosted by Wayne Newton on cocaine.

"Can this be real?"

The gameshow has an unbeatable obstacle course, and when one contestant gets seriously injured during the course, her family is out for revenge. They capture the host (actually Steven Ogg of The Walking Dead fame) and force him to go through a homemade version of the course. This segment starts off strong, but really drops off once it gets to the revenge part. From there, it kind of drags to the point of becoming boring. Stick with it though--the ending is beyond bizarre, and has a fun little twist. 

It made me grin too

The toy soldiers story takes an unexpected turn, then transitions into the next segment, "The Gawkers". A group of teen boys with a video camera go around the neighborhood recording themselves doing stupid stuff and spying on girls. When a woman moves across the street, they all go full obsessed and, from one of the boy's bedroom, watch her every move. When they convince the little brother to secretly install a camera on her computer, however, the boys have gone too far--and the woman knows it. What they want is to see her naked; what they get is...well, half that, but so much more. I really liked this segment. The boys, for as annoying as they could be, were somewhat likable in their innocent idiocy. They were like a group of guys who have never had a girl even talk to them, and their interactions actually felt very real. The reveal of the woman was awesome, and the resulting onslaught was both classic and original. This was the best of the installments. 

What's Gorgon on here?

A couple buddies are hired to document a ritual performed by a coven of witches. Their purpose? Summon a demon to take over the body of Kirsten, a woman who has volunteered to be there (what's up with these people volunteering for these things?). An uninvited demon arrives, however, and as the witches cast it back to hell, it drags the two videographers with it. The guys must now find a way back home. That's what's happening in "To Hell and Back", the final segment of the movie. This one looks absolutely stunning, and, in many ways, may be exactly what you picture hell to look like. The practical effects are fantastic, and the creatures look frightening. You may recognize a couple people in this story--Joseph Winter and Melanie Stone of Deadstream are both here--in fact, if you look close enough, you may recognize at least one other character from that movie too. As was the case with that film, this one is heavy on comedy--unfortunately, there's more miss than hit this time, and, with such a wonderful set, you wish they would have focused more on the horror. While still a fine segment, ending the movie with this one makes it feel like it went out with a whimper. 

That's no reason to turn your back on it!

As is always the case with anthology movies, some segments are better than others--"The Gawkers" stands above the rest for sure. "Suicide Bid" is also very solid from start to finish. The remaining three are a bit unbalanced--there's a lot to sit through with "Shredding" to get to a decent ending; "Ozzy's Dungeon", the weakest overall, starts off on fire, goes ice cold, then picks back up for the closing minutes; "To Hell and Back" looks phenomenal, but otherwise is nothing great. I believe an anthology film should be like a rock concert--start off hot and finish hot. With that in mind, I would have kicked this movie off with "Suicide Bid" and ended it with "The Gawkers", which they kind of, sort of did, but not really. That aside, V/H/S/99 was a fun movie. More often than not, practical effects were used, and they looked great. The stories were interesting, and there were some genuinely creepy moments. Stay tuned for the credits to enjoy a post-credits scene, and some Danzig awesomeness while the credits roll. When I reviewed V/H/S/94, I said it was the best of the series since the original film--this one is even better, and is just as good as the first movie. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

V/H/S/99 Movie Trailer