HIGH LANE (aka Vertige)

High Lane Movie Review

A group of friends go mountain climbing in Croatia, but after passing an off limits area, they get more than they bargained for. This 2009 French film actually starts off really well. We have five somewhat likable characters, including one who bears a striking resemblance to 80's movie icon Kerri Green.

Anybody else see it?

The group faces a number of obstacles on their way, and if you are scared of heights, bridges, mountains, or all of the above, some parts of this movie may make you terribly uncomfortable, turn your stomach, or make you lightheaded.

Maybe even faint

The tension is high, the scenery gorgeous, and just when you find yourself really getting into this movie, as the body count begins to rise...you realize this movie could have just as easily been titled Wrong Turn 7: Croatian Vacation. Honestly, from the time you see the first bear trap, the movie plays out just like a Wrong Turn film, which is unfortunate as that series should have died off years ago. So instead of something unique, we get...that. Some viewers may also be turned off by the dubbing (it's French but with English dubbing instead of subtitles), and at times it is really bad, but believe me when I tell you I've seen a lot worse. Besides, you will likely be so distracted with the horrible shaky camera work you won't be too bothered by the dubbing. The acting is actually fairly decent, and the tension between the group is played out very well, but the "twist" at the end will leave you fairly unsatisfied. High Lane had incredible potential to makes its mark in the horror world, but instead chose an all too familiar path, damning it to an eternity of mediocrity.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

High Lane Movie Trailer

WEREWOLF OF LONDON

Werewolf of London Movie Review

Dr. Glendon (Henry Hull) visits Tibet and returns to London with very a mysterious flower. As fate would have it, it's the only thing that can cure him of the "werewolfery" (Dr. Yogami's term, not mine) he contracts after being attacked by a hairy-handed gent. This 1935 Universal film predates the much more known The Wolf Man by about 6 years, and is the first stab at the werewolf genre for the company. Hull refused the makeup that would eventually be used on Lon Chaney Jr. six years later, opting a for a less hairy, but still scary, look.

This look

To me, this was a wonderfully shot film, and, visually, is absolutely beautiful. Some of the dialogue is witty and clever, but can also veer the opposite direction so far is becomes mind numbing. The story itself is fairly uninteresting, and there are long periods of time when little to nothing to happening to advance the story. My primary gripe with this film, however, are the wolves. They just come across as so...physically weak. Glendon has little trouble swatting away the wolf he falls victim to, and when Glendon has a confrontation with a human near the end of the film the outcome is similar. Werewolf of London is not a terribly memorable film, and is not considered one of Universal's Classics as a result, but it does a nice job developing the blueprint for The Wolf Man and countless werewolf movies that would follow. It's worth watching for that reason alone.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5

Werewolf of London Movie Trailer

Because I know you want it...

OCCUPIED

Occupied Movie Review

Sarah (Liza Binkley) comes to her uncle's secluded, woods-surrounded home to babysit her little cousin Charlotte (Lucy Bock). While there she begins to hear voices and go a little mad. We've all heard the following: "I sat through that entire movie and nothing happened". This statement has never been more aptly applied to a film than it is to Occupied.

Here's a highlight

The entire movie revolves around Sarah and Charlotte--in fact, only one other character even appears in the film, and most unfortunately, neither Binkley nor Bock are even remotely close to being talented enough to carry an entire film. The movie looks almost like a home video and it clearly has no budget--I suspect that nobody will be surprised when the names Binkley and Bock appear time and again in the credits. I can only assume the two families have been friends for years, had a little extra money to spend, and decided to make a film. So early in the film Charlotte tells Sarah a series of stories about what has happened outside the house, and this actually does build a good bit of suspense, but it is never really touched upon again. As we see Sarah start to go crazy we get a flashback sequence...and then the same sequence again...and again...and again...I honestly lost count how many times I saw the exact same flashback sequence. The director (Mollie Binkley, also the writer...surprise!!) goes with distorted visuals to portray Sarah losing her mind--unfortunately, we are shown Sarah and her surroundings being distorted, giving the impression it is the viewer, not, in fact, Sarah going crazy--of course sitting through this movie for 90 minutes could do that to a person. Even when we are not presented the overused distortion, the focus is way off in many shots. Fortunately, not everything about this movie is bad. Other than a good premise that was never given the light of day, the characters are quite likable and seem like real people (even if the actresses appear to be struggling with their lines and give an obviously scripted delivery). The music, as songs, are decent, but they distract far too much from what we are seeing unfold before us--of course since you're reading this review, if you've never seen this film and decide to watch it in spite of what I have said to this point, you are very aware that nothing is happening anyway, so just enjoy the songs when they come up and don't worry about what is (or isn't, as the case may be) happening on the screen. Occupied really isn't a terrible movie--the story could have gone in many interesting directions (but didn't), leading me to believe this would have been much better as a book. As a feature length film, it feels like a waste of time.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 4

Occupied Movie Trailer

HANGAR 10

Hangar 10 Movie Review

Three people with metal detectors and cameras go to a wooded area in search of gold. The location? Rendlesham Forest, which UFO enthusiasts recognize as a place where, in 1980, several unidentifiable lights were spotted and reports of extraterrestrial aircraft landings surfaced. What ensues is two blokes and a lass walking about the woods recording each other as they get lost, confused, and angry--the Blair Witch comparison is obvious, and a large part of the film feels like a remake of that film, with the unseen antagonist being aliens instead of a witch. Eventually the group begins to see lights and objects in the sky and attempt to leave the woods.

But not before trying to determine if there's metal in the sky

Unfortunately, not a lot actually happens in the film outside of the group attempting to leave the woods and get to safety. Lights are seen. Noises are heard. Weird things are all around (still sounds like Blair Witch, doesn't it?). For most of the film, when something does finally happen the cameras are shaky and the lights strobe, so it's virtually impossible to see what's going on. Not all is bad here, however. The actors aren't great, but tolerable, and the characters somewhat likeable. The CGI is decent for the budget the film had, and some of the visuals are actually pretty cool. The final scene is one that is visually pleasing, albeit a letdown when it comes to the ending. I've seen a ton of alien movies in my life--many are better than Hangar 10, but there are also a lot that are much worse.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5

Hangar 10 Movie Trailer

HELLRAISER: REVELATIONS (aka Hellraiser 9)

Hellraiser: Revelations Movie Review

Two terribly irritating teenagers travel to Mexico, where they are given the box that unleashes the Cenobites. After being missing for quite some time, one returns home to tell their families the events of their trip. This 2011 is, to date, the final installment of a series that initially hooked audiences, but eventually left them feeling soulless. The first thing you need to know about this movie is that, for the first time, Doug Bradley does not play Pinhead. Instead, veteran voice actor Fred Tatasciore gets the nod. Allegedly Bradley read the script and said there's no chance of him returning, so instead of creating a new character (which they should have done) they cast Tatasciore as the new Pinhead. I get all of that--what I don't get is casting a guy who makes Pinhead look less demon and more...cuddly bear.

See?

The second thing you will likely notice, as it's obvious from the opening seconds, is that the acting is worse than you can likely imagine. I am not exaggerating when I state I have seen far better acting in high school productions. There are many, many films that have horrible acting, but almost all have at least one person who has at least a small bit of acting ability--not here. Then there's the storyline. For the first time a bit of found footage is incorporated into the series, but it does little to add anything--the guy is already telling to entire story. Why mix in found footage? All that said, there is a little to like about the movie. For the first time in over fifteen years a Hellraiser movie was written as a Hellraiser film, and actually feels (at least a bit) like a Hellraiser film. Not that the story is without flaws, but it was somewhat refreshing to see them rehash something we have not seen in the series in a long, long time. 

Look familiar?

The special effects are pretty awful, but that's expected in a film with a budget hovering around three hundred grand, and the gore makes up for that. The final fifteen or twenty minutes are actually decent as well. The ending promises a tenth film, but over five years later that has not happened. Given more time, a higher budget, and better actors this could have been a decent movie--a return to the Hellraiser movies we know and love. However, this was a last second throw together film from Dimension simply to avoid losing the rights to the series. This is far from a good film, but I truly don't think it is as bad as most make it out to be...or maybe it just looks okay compared to the last few Hellraiser films.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 4



Hellraiser: Revelations Movie Trailer

HELLRAISER: HELLWORLD (aka Hellraiser 8)

Hellraiser: Hellworld Movie Review

Two years after losing their friend to the game "Hellworld", a group of teens accept an invitation to a "Hellworld" party, where nothing is quite as it seems. So we are into the 21st Century, and "Hellworld" is an online game based on Hellraiser--though the film never quite makes it clear if the cult following is based on the Hellraiser films or based on real life events, and Pinhead and company have become urban legends--not that any of this really matters. The group gets to the creepy house that holds the party, and we meet the host with the most--a mysterious man played by horror legend Lance Henriksen.

"Were you invited here, officer?"

As has become tradition at this point, this was based on a project that was not originally a Hellraiser film, but it feels much more like one that certain other movies in the series--unfortunately, that's not nearly enough to save it. The acting, aside from Henriksen, is abysmal, and yes, that includes pre-Superman Henry Cavill. The plot is highly questionable, and the utterly ridiculous actions and behaviors of the lead characters pretty much leave you wishing they would all just die already. The dialogue? Don't even ask. All is not lost in this film, however. There is a fair amount of gore and some interesting death scenes. The ending, while not completely unpredictable, was enough to satisfy--I know that not all the questions were answered, but with such a convoluted attempt at a plot, that was bound to be the case. More than anything, however, this film is known as the final time Doug Bradley took on the pinhead role before bowing out of the series.

Can you blame him?

Honestly, there's not a lot to like about this film. It's worth seeing if you care to take in the entire series, and is mildly interesting here and there, but is certainly not something you should go out of your way to catch otherwise.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 4



Hellraiser: Hellworld Movie Trailer

HELLRAISER: DEADER (aka Hellraiser 7)

Hellraiser: Deader Movie Review

After viewing a video that appears to show a woman being brought back from the dead after shooting herself in the head, a journalist (Kari Wuhrer) travels to Romania to uncover the secrets of the underground group responsible for the video. As was the case with installments five and six of the Hellraiser series, the script of this film originally was not a Hellraiser script, and just like with those films, it shows. They throw in the box and a couple appearances by Pinhead, and even tie the leader of the underground group (they call themselves "Deaders") to the toymakers of past Hellraiser films, but the glue is pretty thin.

It's a Hellraiser film now--see, there's the box!

The film itself is...well...Kari Wuhrer plays the lead character, so you get what you expect. For the most part it comes across as a SyFy Original, with some profanity and nudity thrown in (yes, it IS a Kari Wuhrer film). Nothing of particular interest happens in this film, and much of it is a balancing act between fact and fiction. I think this film actually would have had some potential had they stuck with the original premise, not made it a Hellraiser film, had better acting, and better makeup and special effects--a lot to ask, I know, but the story itself was there. Unfortunately, what we got from it was a muddled mess of mediocrity.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 4

Hellraiser: Deader Movie Trailer