A BUCKET OF BLOOD

A Bucket Of Blood Movie Review

Server/busboy Walter (Dick Miller, Chopping Mall, Gremlins), a simple-minded man, wants nothing more than to fit in with the artsy beatniks he takes care of every day. Side note--if you don't know what a beatnik is, here's a quick summary--Jack Kerouac wrote a literary masterpiece titled On The Road. In it (and often before it was even published), Kerouac described being a part of a "Beat Generation" (he had lifted the term "beat" from a pal), and when his book was published, it inspired thousands of young people to change the way they lived life. That book impacted many lives and changed the way young people of the 1950's thought about many things (it did the same for me when I read it in the early 1990's), but it also spawned a lot of people who didn't quite get it, but wanted to fit into this new counterculture. "Beatnik" is the term that was thrust upon these young folks. They hung out at coffee shops, read poetry, listened to jazz music, drank alcohol and did drugs--essentially, the kids were either trying to be like Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarty (the two lead characters in On The Road) or they were trying to be like the kids trying to be like Sal and Dean.

Now go buy this book!

Getting back on track--Walter has no artistic talent at all, but after accidentally killing a cat, he plasters the feline and claims he sculpted it. The beatniks, not knowing there's an actual cat inside, love the artwork, and happy to finally be accepted, Walter continues with his disturbing work, eventually killing people to be used as his latest pieces of art.

This one kind of deserves it

Schlockmaster Roger Corman directed this 1959 film that blends horror and comedy, and pulls both off nicely. Miller, who we all know and love as a bit character actor (and who looks almost the same at 30 in this film as he did 25 years later in the movies you probably know him from), is absolutely phenomenal in this movie--honestly, his performance is so so impressive it makes it easy to overlook many of the shortcomings in the film. Miller makes the character very sympathetic for most of the film, but also portrays Walter as insane just as well. The supporting cast is also impressive, but this is definitely Miller's movie. The dialogue is very witty at times, unnerving at others. One could talk about the underlying issue of some peoples' desire to fit in and be accepted, but I'm not going down that rabbit hole. At just 66 minutes, A Bucket of Blood is tragically short, and the climax of the film felt rushed, though the final scene is quite sad (even with the final, cheesy line). There's nothing terribly groundbreaking about this movie, but it is worth watching for, if nothing else, Dick Miller's spectacular performance.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

A Bucket Of Blood Movie Trailer

CHOPPING MALL

Chopping Mall Movie Review

A shopping mall brings in three robots to patrol the grounds. The same night, a group of teens decide to stick around the mall for a while after it closes. What could possibly go wrong? This is one of those movies that, for as long as I live, will remind me of seeing the cover for the VHS in video stores in my much younger days. If you're too young to remember, there was this weird obsession with robots in the 1980s. Everybody was certain we were on the verge of robots and computers taking over the world--I won't get into any arguments about how accurate these fears turned out to be (the next time you are in a crowded place, look up from your phone and you may find the answer for yourself), but the result was a lot of movies that touched on the matter--this movie may remind you a bit of Short Circuit, a lot of RoboCop, and tons of Maximum Overdrive, and if it does, think about this--Chopping Mall hit theatres in March 1986, Short Circuit two months later, and Maximum Overdrive two months after that--RoboCop came out a year later. 

A killbot

Back to our story--naturally, the robots begin killing people, and it's up to the teens to fight back. This movie is filled with some of the stuff we love from the 80s, from the robots themselves to the laser beams they shoot to the awesome 80s horror music--it's all here. The acting is terrible, but that only adds to the undeniable charm of the film. With the exception of an exploding head, the death scenes are somewhat mild, and this movie does lean more toward science fiction than horror--there's also a good bit of comedy thrown in. The dialogue is shaky, but we have certainly sat through worse. A 1980s favorite, Dick Miller (Gremlins, The Howling), makes a cameo, and you'll probably recognize our lead, Kelli Maroney, from Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Night of the Comet. Chopping Mall is a lot of fun to watch for another reason--the mall itself. If you were to go to a shopping mall today, you would never believe how popular they were in the 80s, so seeing one as a setting for a movie is nice--checking out the names of some of the stores is cool, and I was delighted to see one named for famed writer/director Sam Peckinpah. Both the robots and the teens wreak havoc on the entire mall, making me wonder what it must have been like for all the employees to come in and see this the next morning. 

I'm sure it was shocking

Let's make no mistake--Chopping Mall is not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, but it's awfulness in all the right ways make it a riot. If you're a fan of 1980s sci-fi, or even if you're looking for a nostalgic kick, check this movie out. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Chopping Mall Movie Trailer