Wednesday, October 7, 2020

WICKED LAKE

Wicked Lake Movie Review

A group of...I don't know if they are supposed to be demented or rednecks or just general degenerates...they're sort of a dime store version of the Sawyer/Hewitt family from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre...anyway, these idiots begin terrorizing a group of four chicks you may find at your local strip joint, but the hunters become the hunted when the women unleash a surprise. Right from the opening, you realize this movie had little to no budget, but we know that alone is not reason to give up on it; that said, you will not be surprised to find the acting is horrendous, the dialogue is mind-numbing, and the story is thin--so thin, in fact, you will find seemingly countless minutes filled with the aforementioned women getting naked and dancing, so I guess if hitting the strip clubs is your thing, you can skip getting the singles and pop this movie in. 

Better yet, pass up both and keep reading

Everything in this movie plays out precisely as you expect it to--I'm going to assume you will never watch this movie, but if you decide to, here comes a spoiler alert--this movie gives us a similar twist as one in the modern-day classic Trick 'r Treat, but everything about that was superior to what Wicked Lake presents, from the acting to the likability of the girls to the unpredictability to the special effects to...literally everything. The full moon seems to imply they are werewolves, but they drink blood as if they're vampires, and also make reference to being witches. If they said exactly what they are supposed to be, I missed it, but it really doesn't matter. 

They ain't got nothing on this pack

 Naturally, there are attempts at humor, and not a bit of it draws so much as a slight laugh. There are exactly two things about Wicked Lake that surprised me: Ministry front-man Al Jourgensen makes a brief appearance in this film and also did the music for it, and Angela Bettis (Carrie, May), one of my personal favorite horror actresses, makes a very quick cameo. How these two legends in their own fields got roped into this mess of a film is beyond me, but if you are a fan of either, and need to see/hear absolutely everything they have ever done, check out this movie...there's no other reason to watch it. If you do decide to torture yourself, however, I'll let you know there are some shots that play during the credits--you'll be shocked to hear these are of the four women dancing and being naked, but if you have ever cared to hear what it would sound like if Ministry covered "What a Wonderful World", you may want to check it out; also, half way through the credits we get a bonus scene featuring a gag that was beaten to death all throughout the movie...you won't care about this.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 3

Wicked Lake Movie Trailer

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