CARRIE

Carrie Movie Review

Carrie White (Sissy Spacek, Blast from the Past) is a high school girl suffering from never-ending bullying from her classmates. What the terrorizing teens don't realize is that Carrie has special powers, and the more she is picked on, the more her rage builds. Based on Stephen King's 1974 novel, the movie was directed by Brian DePalma--the book and film served to launch the careers of both. When I think of this movie, I will always recall watching it with my Mom. In the days of 4 local channels, no cable, and no devices that provide hundreds of thousands of movies at your fingertips, Carrie was a regular film for me and Mom to watch together--we must have watched this movie dozens of times over the years. That said, even taking away all sentimental value I have attached to this movie, this is still an outstanding horror flick. The acting is superb--as a youngster, I didn't pay attention to such things, but as I grew, I was able to really appreciate the performance turned in by Spacek here. The exact same can be said for Piper Laurie as Carrie's Mom, Margaret--both inspired more horror movie characters in the coming years than you could possibly count.

"Let's see...there's..."

The torture of Carrie is unrelenting, both at school and at home, and the slow-burn build is fantastic, leading to one of the all-time great endings in horror history. The movie is shot extremely well, providing both a calm and enough disjointed visuals to keep the viewer feeling uncomfortable. Aside from launching the careers of King, DePalma, and Spacek, this movie also introduced the world to John Travolta, who would very soon after star in one of my favorite sitcoms in television history, Welcome Back, Kotter, as well as become the quintessential 1970's heartthrob after starring in Grease and Saturday Night Fever. 

You're welcome Sani

Honestly, there's not much not to love about this movie. Fans of the King novel will argue it strays too far away from the book--I can't speak on this, having never read it, but the truth is I don't judge movies based on books by how closely they follow the written word (even if I have read the book), so this makes no difference to me at all.Hollywood has not been able to let this story go, either. It spawned a decent 1999 sequel titled The Rage: Carrie 2, a better 2002 made-for-television remake, and a 2013 theatrical remake that...well, the less I say about that movie the better. If you have never watched Carrie--I can't imagine if you are reading this you have never seen this movie, but if that is the case, shame on you! Go watch it! Now!

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 9

Carrie Movie Trailer

TOURIST TRAP

Tourist Trap Movie Review

A group of youngsters (including 80's favorite Tanya Roberts) stumble across a former roadside mannequin attraction. Once a hot spot for tourists, the place is now the home of Mr. Slausen (Chuck Connors of The Rifleman) and secluded from everything, as a new highway redirected traffic away from the area. The lost yutes find that the mannequins are eerily realistic, and worse, a madman can control them telekinetically. That's the story of this 1979 horror film that is probably a little better than it should be. There is a good chance you are thinking to yourself "This sounds like a cross between Carrie and House of Wax", and if that is your thought, you're not wrong--the funny thing is, though it does borrow heavily from both of these classics, it doesn't really feel like either; rather, it very much has a 70's grindhouse, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre feel to it, which really ups the enjoyment factor. The acting is a bit better than what you would expect as well--all the young folks turn in good performances, with Jocelyn Jones as Molly standing out. Connors, who I always think of as a cowboy, is surprisingly effective in his role. This movie succeeds in providing some terrifying moments--mannequins are creepy enough, but what they do with them here turns that whole thing up to eleven.

The star of my nightmare tonight

Unfortunately, the movie fails when it comes to the lighting--some of what happens does so in shots that are so dark it's hard to know what's going on. There are also some continuity errors and moments that are so poorly thought out that they take you out of the moment. The dialogue is hit or miss--we have some genuinely touching moments, but also absolute nonsense. The ending is really well done, providing scares, weirdness, and a very memorable final shot. If you've never seen Tourist Trap, give it a shot--you will be hard-pressed to find a scarier post 1970's PG-rated film.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Tourist Trap Movie Trailer

THE VAULT

The Vault Movie Review

A family robs a bank to help their brother out of a situation that is never fully explained--unfortunately, this is an old bank with a history and something very sinister waiting in the basement. If you have never heard of this 2017 movie, you're not alone--this one flew way under the radar given its budget and star power. Over five million dollars went into this film, and it stars James Franco, a household name in the entertainment industry. As you can imagine, the movie lost money--opening weekend brought in just over $4,300, it grossed a bit over $5,000 in the United States and, to date, has grossed just under $350,000 worldwide.

Made bank? Not quite

Don't let all that bother you--while certainly not a masterpiece, The Vault is a decent horror flick. It takes a while to get to the scares, as the first part of the movie introduces the viewer to the characters and lets you ponder for a moment who the robbers will be. Speaking of the characters, you will likely recognize a few of the actors in this one--aside from Franco, this movie also stars Taryn Manning (Orange is the New Black, The Devil's Tomb) and one of my personal favorites, Clifton Collins Jr. of The Stoned Age fame. With these names, and a few others, the acting in this movie is solid--the exception to this statement is Francesca Eastwood (Clint's daughter), whose performance is nothing short of cringe worthy. Shortly after the fun guessing game, we get to the basement, where the ghosts of a bank robbery past reside. There is a fair amount of gore in this one, so you will not feel unfulfilled there--this feeling will be saved for the ending, which leaves more than a bit to be desired. Another complaint would be with the lighting, or lack thereof. Still, The Vault is a twist-filled thriller that I suggest checking out.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

The Vault Movie Trailer

IT CHAPTER TWO

It Chapter Two Movie Review

27 years after fighting Pennywise, the Losers Club reunites to once again take on the demented clown. This is the long-awaited second chapter of the 2017 film It, a movie that rapidly climbed my list of all-time favorite horror movies. Is this movie as good as the first part? No, it's not. However, after having watched the first movie a few times, you really couldn't expect the second part to be THAT good--rest assured readers, this is a fitting second part to the story. The first thing you will likely notice is the wonderful job casting did with the adult versions of the kids we know from the first chapter--it is easy to recognize each character in their adult form without having to be told who they are. James McAvoy (Split, the X-Men franchise) is the adult version of Bill, and he does a phenomenal job--especially cool and somewhat subtle is how his stutter gets worse the more he remembers his childhood. Bill Skarsgard returns as Pennywise, but we don't see a whole lot of him--sadly, much of what we get in way of Pennywise and his many shape-shifting forms is CGI that is impressive at times, but very questionable for the most part. This results in far fewer actual scary moments in this movie as compared to the Chapter One, and for as cool as the individual elements of this story are, it's the scares we really come for.

The eyes are always scary though

Naturally, with 27 years having passed, the nostalgic awesomeness we got in the previous movie is gone, and the adults versions of the same characters do not come close to having the same chemistry we saw from the children in the the first chapter. The kids, slightly aged, do return for some new scenes, which I found to be a nice surprise. Many will complain about the runtime of the movie, and at 169 minutes, one can understand why. The movie is long, but it flows nicely, and as I was not keeping track of the time, I was personally surprised when my girlfriend told me that was how long the movie was--I have watched MANY movies clocking in at just 90 minutes that felt much longer than this one. The only part of the movie I felt dragged on was the very end, right after the somewhat disappointing final confrontation with the dancing clown--see my comments about the questionable CGI above. It Chapter Two is not a perfect follow-up to the first chapter, but it does the job. Let's face it--none of us expected the second part of the story to be as good as the first part anyway.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

It Chapter Two Movie Trailer

HELLIONS

Hellions Movie Review

Style over substance--if ever challenged to summarize the film Hellions in just three words, reply "style over substance". Honestly, I could close the review right here, and you would likely have a pretty good idea about this movie, but I will go a bit more in depth...though with such little depth to the film to begin with, this may prove to be a challenge. Teen Dora (not the explorer, but actress Chloe Rose) finds out she is pregnant. It happens to be Halloween as well, and as she is handing out candy, a group of children in scary costumes begin terrorizing her.

She actually opened the door when they knocked

Dora hallucinates, then the colors all around her begin to change (insert the style portion of my opening sentence), and we're not really sure what we are seeing is really happening...I'm not sure we really care either. Dora's pregnancy also seems to be accelerating, and she's not quite understanding that either. Thankfully, the movie's Ahab, Sheriff Corman (Robert Patrick of Terminator 2 and Fire in the Sky fame), comes along near the end to explain it all--by this time, you have given up on the story itself (good thing too, as his explanation is a very familiar story) and are just watching for visual satisfaction.

Look at the colors, man

I would say Hellions had potential--I mean, it's set during Halloween, so naturally it got my attention, but the holiday is almost an afterthought here. Instead, what we have is a cliche-filled film right from the start. The interesting use of colors, however, almost makes this movie one worth watching...almost.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5

Hellions Movie Trailer

TERROR TRAIN

Terror Train Movie Review

A group of college kids pull a prank on youngster Kenny Hampson (Derek McKinnon), scaring him so badly he ends up in a mental hospital. Three years later, the same college students throw a party on a train, and one by one they are getting knocked off by an unknown assailant...well, unknown is a bit of a stretch. This 1980 film is remembered primarily for one thing--starring Jamie Lee Curtis, who became an instant horror icon after her appearance in Halloween just two years prior. The movie also starred another young star at the time, magician illusionist David Copperfield, who, fittingly, plays a character named The Illusionist The Magician.

"Illusion Jamie Lee. A trick is something..."

This movie plays out very much like a whodunit, and even though you probably know who the killer is, you may second guess that a time or two. The acting is about what you expect from a slasher from this era--some decent mixed with some rather bad, but it has that 80's charm, so we forgive this. The bloodshed is on par with most other films from this time--it's nothing that is really memorable, but is enough to satisfy. One cool thing about this movie is the killer looks different each time we see him--this is a costume party, and he dons several. The ending (and Kenny's freak out in the beginning especially) leaves a lot to be desired, but the visual of the train trestle is very appealing to a self-confessed train lover. Terror Train is a decent little slasher flick--it's certainly not the best of its time, but is one worth checking out. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Terror Train Movie Trailer

FRANKENSTEIN'S CASTLE OF FREAKS (aka Terror! Il castello delle donne maledette)

Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks Movie Review

Have you ever watched a movie that foregoes any sort of logical plot, choosing instead to just throw of bunch of weird randomness together, mix it up, dump it out, and see what happens? That's seemingly the approach with Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks, a 1974 Italian film. We have yet another version of Baron Frankenstein, only as Count Frankenstein here. He has a daughter and a love interest, who seem to only be in this movie to provide gratuitous nudity. Naturally, the Count has a hunchbacked assistant named Igor. Trust me when I say, it's about to get weirder. There is a perverted, evil dwarf who looks like the love child of Vincent Price and Ted Levine. There are even cavemen (!), one of whom becomes the corpse Frankenstein brings back to life.

"It's Neanderthal, NOT CAVEMAN!"

The story, as it were, is similar enough to the Frankenstein story we know to very loosely be related--we have Frankenstein creating a monster that eventually escapes and terrorizes the locals. Outside of that, this is just stuff happening, such as the dwarf spying on every naked woman in the movie to him befriending another cave dweller to help seek revenge on Frankenstein for throwing him out of the castle of freaks. The dialogue is nonsense, and the movie mistakes are plenty--notable is seeing one of the villagers of the 1800's wearing jeans. Even with all this, the movie is oddly entertaining. It doesn't quite reaching the "so bad it's good" level--it's more "this is better than it should be". The fact that it's even a little bit entertaining puts it head and shoulders above most Italian Gothic takes from this era. In fact, the only truly unbearable element of this movie is the caveman grunting--there are few things I hate more in movies than cavemen grunting. Now that I think of it, the grunting of the modern-day knuckle-dragger is one of the things I hate most about real life. Anyway, give Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks a shot if you are in the mood for a completely off the wall horror flick. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5

Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks Movie Trailer