HALLOWEEN (2007)

Halloween Movie Review

This remake (of sorts) of the John Carpenter classic takes us more into the childhood of killer Michael Myers--we see that he comes from a broken white trash family and is bullied in school, leading to him snapping and killing his stepfather and sister on Halloween night (after previously killing a bully at school). We then get to see young Michael in therapy with Dr. Samuel Loomis (Malcolm McDowell, A Clockwork Orange) before we flash-forward to a grown Michael (he grew from an undersized child to a giant of a man in these years) going on a murderous spree in his asylum before escaping to return to Haddonfield.

Michael vs Pumpkinhead?

Before continuing let me state for the record that the original Halloween is one of my favorite horror films. As hard as it may be, when I watch this film I attempt to separate myself from the original and enjoy the 2007 version, directed by Rob Zombie, for what it is. That said, my number one issue with this film is the prequel portion. In the over half dozen films to feature Michael Myers before 2007 it was established that Michael Myers was "pure evil", and as the series went on, he becomes practically superhuman--even ignoring this, the explanation that he was "evil" was more than enough to make him not only a believable killer, but a horror icon. With all this said, there is one perfectly acceptable conclusion--WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHY MICHAEL MYERS IS EVIL!!! Showing Myers as a child, and using such stereotypical excuses as to why he is evil absolutely shatters the illusion that makes the character so effective! I cannot state enough how much I HATE that Zombie did this; however, once we finally get to the point of Myers as an adult, the rest of the film is actually pretty good. Myers is a ruthless killer, and there is no shortage of blood, gore, and slayings. My second major issue with this film is Loomis. I understand that it would have been hard to pull off a Halloween film without this character, but seeing anybody other than Donald Pleasence play Loomis to hard to swallow (much like seeing anybody other than Robert Englund play Freddy Krueger), and this is certainly saying nothing bad about McDowell, who I consider myself a fan of, but something is just unsettling about seeing Dr. Loomis look like this...

Lost Allman Brother?



Now, as promised, I will get past the comparisons to the older films--we knew when it was announced that Rob Zombie was going to direct this film there would be a certain amount of sleaze, so that was not unexpected. The acting in the film is pretty good for the most part, especially Brad Dourif as the sheriff, and, being a Zombie film, there are some interesting cameos (Sid Haig, Ken Foree, and even Micky Dolenz show up). The one issue I have with the characters in the latter part of the film is the portrayal of Laurie Strode, the hero of the film. From the moment she first appears in the film she is unlikable. I don't blame this on the actress (Scout Taylor-Compton) but rather how the character was written. Another drawback is the sheer amount of profanity used by practically every character in the film. There is a subtle difference in using excessive profanity to build the character (see Goodfellas) and using it so much it makes the character seem dumbed down--that's what we get here, as the profanity is so gratuitous one wonders if Zombie channeled his inner ten year old trying to impress his schoolmates with the new word he learned. Not all is lost with this film however--once Michael gets to Haddonfield the movie takes off and never slows down as bodies pile up left and right. There are many nods to the original film splashed in here and there as well. There are some truly terrifying scenes, and really, these are all things you expect from a horror film. The end would seem to imply this Zombie remake was a one and done shot, but we know that not to be the case. I realize this review contains a lot of negativity, but truthfully, as a stand alone, I do enjoy this film--however, try as I may, I cannot help but compare it to the Carpenter classic, and that is a comparison Zombie's film will never find itself on the winning side of.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

Halloween Trailer

TREMORS

Tremors Movie Review

The denizens of a small town in the middle of a desert are terrorized by giant worm-like creatures that attack from below. This 1990 horror/sci-fi/comedy hybrid delivers on all fronts--it is funny at times, scary other times, and is an obvious nod to creature feature sci-fi films of the 1950s. The cast is filled with actors you will recognize: Kevin Bacon (Friday the 13th, Flatliners), Fred Ward (The Crow: Salvation), Michael Gross (Family Ties), Bobby Jacoby (The Wonder Years) and even country music singer Reba McEntire. The acting is pretty much on par with that you would expect. I have always been entertained seeing Gross play a character that is SO different than the ex-hippie Steven Keaton he played on Family Ties. Jacoby (now known by his real name, Robert Jayne) does a really good job as wise-cracking Melvin. On the other hand, Finn Carter is irritating as Rhonda, and, though I am a big Kevin Bacon fan, this is one of my least favorite performances of his.

I'm not THIS big of a fan

The creatures, termed "Graboids" in the film, are really impressive. They tunnel through the sand at rapid rates, have several tongue-like appendages, and absolutely devour their prey.

Say, here's one now

If you are looking for a terrifying film to watch with a storm outside at three in the morning, this is not what you should turn to--however, if you are looking for a movie that will entertain you, make you laugh, give you chills, and make you happy you don't live in the middle of the desert, Tremors is your film.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 8



Tremors Movie Trailer

INSIDIOUS 3

Insidious 3 Movie Review

Elise Rainier (Lin Shaye) comes out of retirement to help Quinn Brenner (Stefanie Scott), a teen having trouble contacting her dead mother--the trouble you ask? Evil spirits are terrorizing her. The third installment of the Insidious series is actually a prequel to the first two, and, most unfortunately, focuses largely on Elise. This sort of character is fine as a character that pops in for a few minutes, but to have half a film dedicated to her is a bit much, and Shaye's acting doesn't get any better--sadly she's not even the worst actor in this film. That dubious distinction goes to Tate Berney as Alex, Quinn's brother--mercifully he's only in a couple scenes, and honestly, I have no idea why the character was even written into the film. On the other end of the spectrum Scott does a pretty good job as Quinn, and Dermot Mulroney (Young Guns 2, Where The Day Takes You) is decent as Quinn's dad, though I expected a much better performance from him. The strength of the film, naturally, is in the scares.

Your face without eyes

Some of the spirits/demons are fairly scary (in particular The Man Who Can't Breathe), and we get a brief return of the red-faced demon everybody knows and loves. We do see some very intense, scary scenes in this film, including the spirit walking calmly about Quinn's room, making it darker as Quinn is frozen in fear. We also get some unexpected jumps, though the reliance on this is a bit much at times. As we approach the apex of the film we are re-introduced to Tucker and Specs, who once again provide unneeded comic relief (though it was much more welcome in this film). Of course we also see how the pair form a business with Elise.



I am a big fan of the first two Insidious films, and was excited when this third installment was announced, but alas, it fails in many ways to live up to the first two. As with all sequels/prequels one must separate it from the other films as much as possible and imagine it on its own legs--applying that theory to Insidious 3, you are still left with a film that is just okay and does little to separate itself from the pack of similar films.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Insidious 3 Trailer

INSIDIOUS 2

Insidious 2 Movie Review

Picking up the pieces of the first movie in the series, in Insidious 2, we find that something has followed Josh (Patrick Wilson) from The Further. The film sort of jumps around from the time Josh was a boy, to the events of the first Insidious film, to the present day. The original cast returns here, and the main players (Wilson, Rose Byrne, Barbara Hershey) all do a fantastic job once again. The scares in this film, remarkably, as just as terrifying as in the first.

One of the creeps

Of course this film does have the same drawbacks of the first (weak acting from the kids and Lin Shaye) but once again, the viewer can easily get past this. The story is advanced nicely in this film, it has a very tense build to a wonderful ending, and once again the director and writer (Wan and Whannell) manage to make a genuinely scary film without clichés, gore and blood--and it does all this while maintaining a PG-13 rating. It is a rare occasion that a sequel can live up to an original if the first film is a good one--Insidious 2 does just that.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 9

Insidious 2 Trailer

INSIDIOUS

Insidious Movie Review

Josh and Renai (Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne) have recently moved into a new home. It's here that one of their children, Dalton, falls into a coma-like state that doctors cannot explain. After experiencing ghostly encounters the family agrees the house is haunted and move again--but the experiences continue to take place, resulting in a terrifying realization: it's not the house that's haunted, it's the child. This is really just scraping the surface of this horror film from the dynamic duo of James Wan and Leigh Whannell, the pair that brought us the Saw series. This journey also takes us to the world of dreams, the nightmare of being trapped in them, and the possibility of ghosts and demons entering our world.

You'll also never hear Tiny Tim the same again

This is a really, really slick movie that pulls off something many other films attempt and fail at--it's rated PG-13, there's no blood or gore to speak of, but it's actually a very scary film. The premise is frightening, the mood and scenery are chilling, and the faces of "The Further" are just...creepy.

This is not a happy place

The acting ranges from very good--Wilson and Byrne do a wonderful job portraying the victims--to very bad--Lin Shaye is simply unbearable as the medium brought in to help, and as much as I enjoyed the interaction between her sidekicks, I found the comedy they added took too much from an otherwise straight forward horror film. Fortunately these couple minor complaints are not nearly enough to bring this film down. When I first saw it in theatres I proclaimed it one of the better horror films I have seen--several viewings later I stick to that comment.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 9

Insidious Movie Trailer

WYRMWOOD: ROAD OF THE DEAD

Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead Movie Review

A meteor shower leads to a zombie outbreak in Australia. Now Barry (Jay Gallagher), joined by a band of misfits and weirdos, is on the road in search of his sister Brooke (Bianca Bradey), the victim of a kidnapping at the hands of a military outfit working for a mad scientist (Berynn Schwerdt). This Australian comedy/horror is some strange hybrid of The Evil Dead, Mad Max, and Shaun of the Dead, and, for the most part, it works. The film primarily presents itself as a horror film in the beginning, with humor dropped in subtly here and there before becoming almost completely comedy, and finally finding a nice balance toward the end. This film attempts to introduce new things to the genre to mixed results--somehow (it's never really explained) things that were once flammable (gasoline) no longer are, but the gasses the zombies breathe out, as well as their blood, are.

Flammable zombie

Thus, in order to drive around, they have to find a way to use the breathing zombies to fuel their vehicle. Also, for other reasons never fully explained, the zombies stop breathing this stuff out at night, instead choosing to use it to fuel their own movements, making them faster. And somehow, somewhere in the story, the hilarious mad scientist...

this guy

 

...gives a girl...

this girl

...the power to control the zombies. So yeah, there's a lot going on in this film to keep you interested. On top of that it is filled with blood, gore, and absolute madness. The major drawback of the film for me is the heavy reliance on bad CGI for the gore and fire. Also, while the directing is really good for the most part, a lot of times it comes off as a direct rip-off of Edgar Wright and Guy Ritchie. Unfortunately, the movie may lose the viewer somewhat when it leans too far toward the comedy--some of it is just too obvious and not funny. Ultimately Wyrmwood comes across as a film most will either love or hate--if you're expecting a frightening zombie flick in the vein of 28 Days Later you will be disappointed--if you are expecting a zomedy as funny as Shaun of the Dead you will be disappointed--but if you're looking for a film that is a lot of fun and doesn't take itself too seriously, while still adding some gore and surprisingly touching moments, I recommend Wyrmwood.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

 

Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead Movie Trailer

THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE (aka La notte che Evelyn uscì dalla tomba)

The Night Evelyn Came Out Of The Grave Movie Review

After his possibly cheating wife Evelyn dies, Lord Alan Cunningham (Anthony Steffen) fancies local strip clubs and hangouts looking for women to bring back to his castle so he can torture and kill them. Slowly diving into madness, Cunningham marries another woman and begins to believe Evelyn is coming back from the dead. This 1971 Italian gothic horror film is a true test of patience. The voice dubbing is horrible. There is little violence and/or gore in the film. The story is a dull one. It seems the director's approach to this film was "lets drag out an uninteresting story as long as we can, and keep the viewers attention by randomly throwing in scenes of hot, naked chicks".

Like this one 

It's not until toward the end of the movie that we finally see Evelyn back from the dead--but is she really? 

I'm convinced

If you can manage to make it through the over 100 minutes of this film you are treated to a somewhat interesting, twist-filled ending that goes a twist or two too far, leaving a potentially fantastic ending very disappointing. One thing I did absolutely love about this film is the transfer--the pops, the grainy film, the missing frames--the film was even off centered at one point. Outside of these few things, there's unfortunately not much going for this film. Skip it.

  

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 4



The Night Evelyn Came Out Of The Grave Trailer