Because nobody likes spending an hour reading a movie review, I bring you Quick Horror Movie Reviews, a site offering to the point reviews of horror films from a guy who has seen thousands of them. From the classics to the hidden gems, the slashers to the creatures, the multi-million dollar blockbusters to the direct to video awfulness, it's all here! Read, enjoy, and for the best experience, go old school and view the desktop version!
There's this creepy weirdo dude who is absolutely obsessed with movies, and he has little touch with reality.
Not THIS weirdo!
This particular guy is named Eric (Dennis Christopher), and he is infatuated with a woman who looks like Marilyn Monroe (Linda Kerridge). Eric, already rather unhinged, goes completely mad, and imitates characters from classic movies while going on a killing spree. This genre-bending flick from 1980 sounds bizarre, and is likely even more so than you are thinking, as practically every approach and angle in this movie is non-traditional. There is a fair balance of hit and miss with this, with the highlight being the clips of older movies thrown in to match Eric's personality. I don't want to give away any of the films we see, but even a brief glimpse at the movie poster will give a lot away.
But here's Marilyn, in case you're wondering
While the idea of the movie is unique, it's the acting that sinks this one. Christopher reminded me of a young Roddy McDowall at times, which brought a smile to my face, but he wasn't a great choice for this role--one can only imagine how much better this movie would have been with a more talented lead. None of the rest of the acting is any better, but there is one actor of note in this one, as a young Mickey Rourke pops up to play a tough guy/bully.
I'm as surprised as you are
Most unfortunate is the ending, which seemingly drags on forever, leading to a disappointing finale. Fade To Black is a really hard one to grade--it has the likability of a movie that's so bad it's good, but also has elements that are so bad they're unbearable, and ones so good they'll surprise you...any way you to slice it, if nothing else, this is a movie worth checking out.
Back in the early to mid 1990's, there was a television show called Sightings. I would record this show on VHS and usually watch it Saturday or Sunday night around two or three in the morning. The show was all about catching the unexplained on tape (think Paranormal Caught on Camera, but on actual tape) and discussing mysteries of the universe, and living out in the middle of nowhere in Ohio, and watching this half asleep at three in the morning after a long Saturday night, it often scared the dickens out of me.
I get you, Frank
One video I specifically remembered throughout the years featured a couple guys capturing a U.F.O. and aliens out in a field, being chased by them, killing one, and carrying it into their house. I remember thinking this looked eerie and somewhat real, and since then, the visions stuck with me, though I had not seen the video since those days. Flash forward to 2021, and while scrolling through Shudder, I see a movie titled The McPherson Tape, and decide to give it a shot. Almost as soon as the movie started, the part of my mind buried somewhere deep in my brain that had held onto the memories of that video resurfaced, and I immediately recognized that this is what I had seen so many years ago (though research discovered there was one thing my memory had wrong--it wasn't Sightings that showed this, but a similar show I used to watch titled Encounters that did). Though that part of my memory was flawed, when I saw the spaceship, the aliens, and the guy carrying one into the house, I realized the visions I carried were spot-on.
It's like it was removed from my head
Here's the deal with this footage--it was shot in 1989, and the story is that all this chaos happens in 1983, at a little girl's birthday party. Tapes of this made their way around in the early 1990's (before the Internet, for all you younger readers), and it was reported to be actual footage--this was plausible, as the tape that found its was into the hands of the true believers had no credits at all--it literally started with the party, and ended with the final shot. The footage looked real, as if somebody shot it on their home camcorder. There was also nobody coming forward to take credit for shooting this. All this added up to many, many people claiming and believing this to be legitimate footage of actual aliens caught on tape.
It wasn't
The true story is this was a film shot in 1989 with practically no budget. After having a very limited release, the master tape was destroyed before distribution, and only pirated versions, with all the credits removed, were making the rounds. All things considered, one can understand why this was so believable--the term "found footage film" was a good ten years from being a part of regular vocabulary, and though a few such movies did exist prior to 1989, they were quite unusual at the time. The movie was finally publicly acknowledged to be a scripted film in 2012, and the director, Dean Alioto (who doubled as Michael in the movie), sold VHS copies of the movie in 2003--it didn't become available on DVD and digital until 2018.
"It took THAT long?"
Now that we have the story of the movie, let's talk about the film itself. Watching this, you could easily tell why so many believed it to be real--it feels really, really real...at least at first. The opening scenes at the party truly make you feel like you are watching a family's home video. The scenes with the aliens, when they are at a distance, look authentic as well. If all you saw was this--the couple scenes with the aliens and the family prior to the sighting--you could believe what you are watching is real. The believability collapses, however, once the family goes into panic mode, the overacting kicks in, and the story goes sideways, as we see the characters following voices, going from terror to calm at the drop of a hat, and we get the one thing I can never stomach in found footage flicks--the holder of the camera not only continuing to shoot everything, even in the face of death, but also pointing the camera in the right place at the right time every time. Still, for the budget, and for not really having much of a blueprint for how to make such a movie, this one is decent, and has some genuinely creepy moments, including a very good ending. On a personal note, it was really cool seeing the pieces of the puzzle in my mind come together (I also had an image of the three girls in the alien costumes holding the heads floating around up there, but I had no idea where I had seen the picture before--as soon as I saw the aliens up close, that picture popped into my head) to form the entire picture after all these years.
Years after losing his wife, Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi) decides to search for a new love. His friend comes up with a plan to screen women under the guise of a movie audition, and it's there he meets Asami Yamazaki (Eihi Shiina), a young, seemingly timid lady with a very dark secret. Predating what may be considered the golden age of torture flicks (Saw, Hostel, et al), this 1999 Japanese film truly pushed the envelope upon its release. Let's talk about what you have probably heard about this movie, if you have heard of it at all--yes, the scenes of Asami with the wire are graphic, look realistic, and are exceptionally well done.
"kiri kiri kiri kiri"
While this is a very memorable part of the movie, it's not exactly what makes it such a great movie--there's plenty more going on to do that. The whole mood of the film is just eerie, from the hospital scene of Aoyama's wife dying to the bar to the plan being devised, there is a lot that will leave you feeling uneasy before you even see a drop of blood. Once Asami is introduced, the creepiness is amped up, and the remainder of the movie is utterly unnerving. The acting, particularly from our two lead characters, is strong--both Ishibashi and Shiina do a fantastic job expressing emotions without even having to say a word. The film is shot wonderfully, and even with a bit of humor thrown in, the viewer is never taken out of the mood--I would argue that though the audition scenes provided unexpected laughs, it was still shot in a way to make the viewer feel on edge, and is some of the best work in the film. As is the case with many Japanese horror movies, this one burns slowly, and could have benefited from having about ten minutes shaven off it. The ending is also a bit abrupt, and rather unsatisfying, but those are really the only complaints I have about this movie. I first saw Audition not long after it came out, and had not watched it in years--unlike with so many movies I go a long time without watching, this one is still every bit as good as I remembered it being.
While hanging out in a seaside cabin, three homicidal rockabilly-looking chicks must battle a sea monster. That is the simple, yet bizarre plot of this 2010 film that is both a nod to 1970's grindhouse flicks and 1950's creature features, but that never quite captures the feel of either--instead, what we get is a rather uneventful, forgettable Australian flick.
As good as this one gets
The first scene lets us know these are not women to be messed with--in fact, the opening sequence is probably the best part of the film. There are some brutal killings, a ton of blood, and it is shot wonderfully in black and white. Had they built from this momentum, this could have actually been a really good movie; instead, once the color comes on, it melts into the land of mediocrity and just drags, as we see the ladies seaside, where they drink, do drugs, and have dreadfully dull conversations. All three of the gals are equally as annoying as the next, and none have any depth whatsoever. Their car is cool though, and they lug around cassette tapes--records will always be my number one choice for music listening, but cassette tapes come in a close second, and seeing them here made me miss my old collection. Watching this movie, I enjoyed thinking that maybe the cassette is still king in the Land Down Under.
And I'm jealous
If you can manage to stick with the movie, you are treated to...well, subjected to...a final battle pitting the girls and their new female friend against the monster, in a battle filled with bad CGI and green screens and hand puppets.
Oh my
If you are looking for a good giant creature film, a good grindhouse movie, or a good homage to either of these, look elsewhere--though filled with promise, Monstro fails in practically every way possible.
After her aunt dies, a woman and her two daughters move into the aunt's old house. Soon after, they are terrorized by a couple intruders, who are killed after some brutal struggles. Now a successful writer, Beth returns to the house sixteen years later to find her sister, Vera, is practically insane, and her mother is barely holding herself together.
That doll is the least strange thing in this house
This 2018 film is brought to us by French director Pascal Laugier--if this name sounds familiar, you may have seen his 2008 outing, Martyrs, and if you have seen that movie, you know Laugier doesn't exactly shy away from the gore. While Ghostland doesn't quite reach the levels of shock found in Martyrs, it does certainly have its moments, and the violence is rather unrelenting. Though some of the scenes are unsettling (as are the girls' faces), it is the atmosphere that carries this film. You could remove all the blood and guts from this flick and still be left with visuals that leave you feeling uneasy.
So many dolls!
The film does offer up some twists and turns, and if you don't know about them already, they may catch you off guard. The acting is probably a step up from what you would expect, and the villains very much have that 1970's grindhouse horror feel to them. The story is an interesting one to be sure, but it is not entirely original (I don't want to go into the land of spoilers here, but you have likely seen at least one movie with this twist). The ending is massively disappointing, as you feel Beth and Vera never get the justice (or revenge) they deserve. Still, Incident in a Ghostland is far scarier and more entertaining than I expected it to be, and one I will likely watch again someday.
David (Eric Foster) and Lynn (Kim Valentine) lose their father and have to go live with their grandparents. Once there, they find them to not only be a little weird, but also potentially psychotic. This movie was released in 1988, seemed to be everywhere in the late 1980's and early 1990's, and I must have watched it about a two dozen times over those years...I'm not going to say it was primarily because I had a crush on Kim Valentine.
Not going to say it
Aside from my infatuation, I did always find this to be an interesting film. About midway through the 1990's, however, the movie seemed to just vanish, from both my mind and the actual world. Occasionally throughout the 21st Century, I would think of the movie and search it out on eBay. On the rare occasion I could find it listed, it was rather expensive, so I passed, fully confident I would come across it again some day. One can imagine my delight when I saw it had arrived on my new favorite source for horror movies, Tubi. With great excitement, I hit the play button, but would the movie hold up after having not seen it for probably 25 years?
"No comment"
Okay, so it's not the horror masterpiece I may have believed it was for so long, but that's not to say this is a bad movie; it's not that, but it is certainly an odd one. Director Peter Rader hits us with some unconventional camera angles--the fact that he only directed two other films may say something about this approach. The movie seems far too wrapped up in itself, as it goes for twist after twist, but fails to maintain a cohesive story while doing so. Some of the dialogue is equally baffling. The acting is surprisingly adequate, with both Valentine and Foster doing a decent job, and Len Lesser bringing the creepiness as the grandfather. The cinematography is also impressive, and seeing the kids exploring the farm took me back to when I was a child and loved such exploration. Anyway, the ending of the movie is just as surreal as the rest of it, and the bizarre feel of the film is what will stick with you more than anything else. No, Grandmother's House is not quite the movie I remember, but the 14 year old in me still enjoyed it. I'm happy I watched it again, and even happier I didn't drop fifty bucks to buy the DVD.
