HALLOWEEN (1978)

Halloween Movie Review

Fifteen years after killing his sister, Michael Myers escapes the institution he has been locked in and returns to his hometown of Haddonfield, Illinois, where he terrorizes babysitter Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis in her film debut) and her friends. So there is a ton of confusion out there with the Halloween franchise--this, the original 1978 film, spawned an entire franchise that largely got worse with each sequel. Halloween 3 is almost universally considered the worst of the batch, but as it has nothing to do with Michael Myers, many don't even consider it a part of the franchise. The franchise also had a reboot, with Rob zombie directing Halloween in 2007 and Halloween II in 2009. Most recently, we got another film titled Halloween that was released just this month--while I have not seen it yet, my understanding is that it is a direct sequel to this, the original 1978 Halloween, and ignores every other film after it...but it's not titled Halloween 2...it is instead also titled Halloween, the third movie with this title. So yeah, that's all confusing, but let's get back to this movie.

Focus Josh

This movie starts off with a bang, tells a wonderful story in the middle, and ends as strong as it begins. Jamie Lee Curtis makes a likable lead, and Donald Pleasence steals the show as Dr. Loomis, Michael's psychiatrist--he realizes the only way to stop the madman is to eliminate him, and poor Loomis tries in vain the entire film to warn anybody who will listen of the impending doom. Unfortunately, outside of these two, the rest of the acting in this movie is pretty bad--it's so bad at times it can be hard to watch. There is also relatively little blood--while that may be surprising if you have only heard of this movie and never actually seen it, this ultimately doesn't really take much away from the film, unless you are a gorehound. Arguably the greatest thing about this movie is the music--director John Carpenter also scored the film, and the music is some of the coolest and creepiest of any horror film ever made. The ending leaves a little to be desired, but it did leave the door open for the many sequels that would follow. Halloween is considered one of the all time classic horror films, and is justly credited with ushering in a wave of slasher films that would flood the market in the following decade. If you are reading a horror movie blog, chances are you have already seen this movie--if you haven't, go watch it. Now.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 9

Halloween Movie Trailer

THE HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW

The House On Sorority Row Movie Review

Tired of living under their house mother’s iron fist, seven sorority girls decide to pull a prank on her. Things go south, however, when the woman dies as a result. Now, the girls are being killed off one by one as they attempt to cover up her death. Coming out during the slasher craze of the early 1980s, this film brings pretty much what you would expect from the genre at this time. The premise of the film isn't entirely original, and not much else throughout the movie is either. Except for Katherine McNeil as good girl Katey and Eileen Davidson as mean girl Vicki, the sorority girls are rather interchangeable.

There's another one somewhere

McNeil and Davidson each do a decent job, but the rest of the acting in this film is rather awful--when do we ever watch slasher movies for the acting though? There is an impressive body count, with very mixed results--a lot of the violence is off screen or shown as shadows, with little to no blood, but we also get some brutality, including a severed head in a toilet.

That's quite a swirly

You will likely know how this one is going to unfold, but there is a surprise or two thrown in as well. What this movie lacks is anything really scary or tense, save for a brief moment near the end of the film. This movie actually has garnered a following, and lead to a remake, the title shortened to Sorority Row, years later. If you are a fan of 1980s slasher flicks, you will likely enjoy The House On Sorority Row--I was hoping for a bit more from it, but you can certainly do worse.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

The House On Sorority Row Movie Trailer

THE MESSENGERS

The Messengers Movie Review

The Solomon family moves into a haunted farm house, and daughter Jess (Kristen Stewart, Panic Room, The Runaways), a trouble making teen of some sort, is the only one of the family who can tell something is wrong--well, her little brother can too, but he doesn't talk...or show emotion...or do anything redeeming. This movie came out in 2007, the tail-end of about a five year stretch when these ghost/haunting movies were hitting the big screen seemingly every month. Not that I was complaining--many of these films were really good--The Messengers just doesn't happen to be one of them. By the time this movie arrived in theaters, we had already watched The Ring, The Grudge (wait, I haven't reviewed The Grudge yet?!), and probably even the Japanese movies that inspired them, so when we watched The Messengers, it just came off as a rip-off of those films...and it still does to this day.

"What face am I supposed to be making again?"

Most of the scares are a CGI-fest and/or jump scare, but there is a scene or two that will grab your attention. Kristen Stewart, the queen of the stone-faced actresses, is just that in this film--the only thing surprising about this is that the twins who play Ben, her little brother, are even more stone-faced than Stewart--I know this is hard to believe, but trust me on this one. Penelope Ann Miller (Chaplin, The Relic) and Dylan McDermott (Home For The Holidays, American Horror Story) phone this one in as Jess' parents, but John Corbett (The Wonder Years, Northern Exposure) saves the day, turning in, by far, the best performance in the film. A twist and turn along the way will keep you going, as will a couple creepy appearances by William B. Davis (the Cigarette Smoking Man from The X-Files), but in the end, his existence in this film, and the twists, really don't make a lot of sense. All that said, this movie made a ton of money, and spawned a prequel that more closely follows the original script and is much better. The Messengers really isn't a bad movie--it has some entertaining elements, but you have to take it for what it is--a cheap version of much better films. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5

The Messengers Movie Trailer

SILVER BULLET

Silver Bullet Movie Review

A werewolf is terrorizing the small town of Tarker’s Mill. It’s now up to handicapped child Marty (Corey Haim of The Lost Boys), his sister Jane (Megan Follows) and Uncle Red (legendary lunatic Gary Busey) to stop the hairy beast. Based on the Stephen King story Cycle of the Werewolf, this 1985 film came out during a period in which a ton of King’s works were being presented on the big screen—the result of this was very hit or miss, but to me, Silver Bullet is one of the more enjoyable films from this batch. Growing up, I was always a fan of Haim. He was a rare child actor in that he was actually likable and talented, and he really does do a great job in this movie. Busey is about what you would expect—he’s essentially playing himself in this movie, as most of his lines are improvised. Everett McGill is pretty good as the Reverend, and Follows turns in a decent performance, but much of the rest of the acting is quite dreadful. How much you like the werewolf will largely depend on your horror preferences—if you prefer CGI monsters, you will hate it, but if your appreciation is more in the classic approach, you may be satisfied here—I personally love it.

"Gimme a hug"

Even if you are not a fan, a lot of the scenes with the werewolf are done with quick cuts, effectively making the monster scarier. The transformation scenes are also solid, and the Reverend’s nightmare sequence is quite memorable. The ending is rather abrupt, and much of this movie is a little corny, but I have liked Silver Bullet since first seeing it as a kid, and still find myself watching it every couple years in October.

On A Scale From One To Ten: 7

Silver Bullet Movie Trailer

THE FUNHOUSE

The Funhouse Movie Review

After witnessing a murder at a carnival, a group of teenagers find themselves being hunted down by the deformed killer and his deranged father. Tobe Hooper of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre directed this 1981 slasher film that is probably best remembered for the visual of the killer once he unmasks.

A face only a mutha could love

If you read my review of the 2018 Halloween Horror Nights, you know I am a sucker for anything carnival related, and this movie is no exception. It does take a while to get going, as we get to know the lead, Amy (Elizabeth Berridge), and the three youngsters she goes to the carnival with. We see rides, freak shows, and other cool stuff, we see the teens doing teen stuff, then finally get to the killings. Most of the death scenes are fairly tame and the body count is low, but there are certainly some interesting visuals involved. The real strong points of this movie are the suspenseful elements,, the directing, and the cinematography, all of which are excellent. The opening scene, paying homage to Psycho and Halloween, is also memorable. The acting is pretty bad throughout this movie, but that adds the 1980s horror appeal, so all is well with that. While not necessarily considered a classic, The Funhouse is a nice horror piece, and if you are a fan of 1980s horror, is a must-see.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

The Funhouse Movie Trailer

IT'S OCTOBER 13 JOSH! POST SOMETHING ALREADY!

Hello loyal readers. I know you likely expected me to have written more reviews by this point in the month--it IS October, the horror movie month, after all, and here it is the 13th day and this is my first entry of our favorite time of the year, so I feel an explanation is in order. My girlfriend and I left for a vacation to England and France (and briefly Norway) at the start of the month and just returned two days ago...oh yeah, and we both returned very sick...thanks Europe. So while not in the states, I had no time to watch movies, much less review them--we don't believe in relaxation during vacation, so we were sightseeing the entire time...and my goodness, did we ever see a lot!

While on the subject of sightseeing, I will not go through everything we saw, but will mention the things that I could tie into the theme of this site: Stonehenge was incredible (and freezing cold).

And this picture made it onto Svengoolie's photo gallery!

Seeing Jim Morrison's grave and the cemetery he's buried in, Pere Lachaise Cemetery in Paris, was really cool and creepy. As a lifelong fan of The Doors, seeing Morrison's grave is something I had wanted to do for many, many years. Aside from Morrison, there are dozens of other famous people buried in the cemetery, which is absolutely huge. If you are a fan of cemeteries and enjoy checking out the cool headstones and tombs, Pere Lachaise Cemetery is a place you could spend all day at.

Mr. Mojo Resting

Keeping with my reviews of haunted houses this year (see Halloween Horror Nights 2018 and Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween Party 2018), Le Manoir de Paris has Halloween: Toxic, a thirty minute walk through haunted house that is, at times, absolutely terrifying. The monsters can, and often do, touch you, much of the house is pitch black, and, best of all, you are sent through the house in small groups (there were five of us), making every scare one you do not see coming a mile away--I'm looking at you, Universal. The story is of a toxic outbreak, turning humans into mutated monsters. There is a ton of personal interaction with the characters, and they all speak English as well as French, which is great. If you speak English but not French, simply tell one of the people at the start of the house, and you will be given a glow stick, alerting the characters to perform in English. The makeup jobs throughout the house are extraordinary, and many of the scenes and special effects are genuinely frightening. So should you find yourself in Paris, check this experience out--it will cost about 30 Euros, but is worth every bit of it. You can find more information on this at their site here.

The building even looks cool on the outside

So there you have it, the reasons it has taken me so long into October to write a review. Thanks for reading, and with that out of the way, I think I'll review something now!