Friday, February 8, 2019

DEADLY INSTINCTS (aka Breeders) 1997

Deadly Instincts (Breeders) Movie Review

A meteorite crashes, and the alien riding on it must breed with humans to keep its species alive—lucky for him, he crashes right near an all girls school, and is soon living below it. It will not take long to realize you are watching a bad movie here—the plot is absurd, the acting is bad, the dialogue is laughable, and, if drinking is your thing, take a shot every time you hear an actor slip in and out of their accent (a largely English cast in a movie set in Boston). All this said, this film is SO bad there is an unexpected entertainment value that will keep you going. There is also a space girl, appropriately named Space Girl (model Kadamba Simmons), who could be good, could be bad, but she keeps popping up throughout the movie, and is really the only somewhat interesting character in the film.

Simmons

Upon researching Simmons, I found she was murdered by a psychotic ex-boyfriend not long after doing this movie. While certainly not a master of the art of acting, it is not a stretch to imagine Simmons having a long career as a model and B-movie scream queen--she certainly had the look for it. Back to the movie---the heroes turn out to be a teacher (Todd Jensen of Wrong Turn 3: Left For Dead) and the student he is having post-class affairs with (Samantha Janus, aka Samantha Womack, a fairly well-known English television actress)--somehow every woman in the school looks at Jensen as if he were the world's sexiest man--apparently they don't get out much. We get a lot of unnecessary scenes involving our couple, some gratuitous nudity, and, very occasionally, a look at the alien--he's not as impressive as he is on the cover of the movie. 

This happens too

None of this really adds up or makes much sense, but it all leads to an ending that is as disjointed and bizarrely entertaining as the rest of the movie. Also of note, this is a remake of the 1986 movie Breeders--maybe I will track that one down some time. Speaking of the name, this film is actually known as Breeders in most of the world, including its original release--in fact, it was only changed to Deadly Instincts for the German television release, but kept that name when released on DVD via an Echo Bridge 5 movie collection titled...wait for it...5 Horror Movies--yes, I own this. Deadly Instincts is in no way, shape, or form a good horror film, but it has just enough of the strange and inept charm to make it worth watching.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5


Deadly Instincts (Breeders) Movie Trailer

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