The VelociPastor Movie Review
Father Doug Jones (Greg Cohan) develops the ability to turn into a dinosaur--don't ask how this happens, as it doesn't really make any sense anyway. After meeting and falling for a prostitute, he is convinced to use this power to fight evil. Mentioned in the same breath as "classics"such as Birdemic and The Room, this movie is far too self-aware to fit into the category of those films--the charm of those movies is that the people making them tried to make a good movie, but they turned out so bad they're good. With VelociPastor, director/writer Brendan Steere was clearly approaching the project with his tongue planted firmly in his cheek.
This actually appears in the movie
Instead of a movie filled with a lot of so bad it’s good, what we get is a lot of...just bad. The acting is horrible, the dialogue is mind-numbing, and practically every technical aspect of the film is abysmal. There’s little bordering on horror in the film, but you will chuckle a bit throughout--there's not enough to justify watching, but it has its moments. If you manage to sit through the majority of this movie, however, you will very much be rewarded when you get to the final ten minutes, when the occasional chuckle turns into literally laughing out loud and rewinding to watch again.
This scene is fantastic!
I can’t, with good conscious, recommend watching this entire movie, but if you can dig up just the final ten minutes, you will be happy you did.
On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5
The VelociPastor Movie Trailer
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