WATCH IF YOU DARE

Watch If You Dare Movie Review

Watch If You Dare is a horror anthology film. Unlike many of the classics (such as Creepshow and Twilight Zone: The Movie), this one does not have a wraparound story, and the individual entries are not linked in anyway--this movie just jumps right in with the first story, so let's do the same thing here.

The Stylist

A hair stylist named Claire has one final client for the day, and she decides to drug and scalp her. Does she do this because she's jealous of the woman? Does it have to do with the scar on her neck? Has she been in the service business too long and is just sick of people? Who knows. We do find out, however, this is not the first time Claire has done this, as she has a small collection of scalp wigs at home. There is some blood during the scalping scene, but what will probably stick in your mind after watching this segment is the horrible bald cap they used on the victim.

Ink

Some crackhead looking dude kills people to cut off their tattoos, which he then sews onto himself  after cutting his own skin away to make room for them. Why does he do this instead of just getting a tattoo? Your guess is as good as mine, as this is never answered. In fact, there's barely any dialogue at all in this one. This segment only serves to up the gross out factor as we see the killer cutting his own skin off, and noticing the weird discharges coming from his sewn-up new skin. As for the kills, forget it--we don't actually see them.

Foodies

The anthology takes a more comedic turn with this segment--the problem is, it's not funny in the least. The story is a guy gets invited to an exclusive dinner, where he becomes the main course. This is presented as a twist, but you know it's coming long before it's revealed. Foodies looks a lot like one of those poorly made workplace videos you have to sit through at your job, and this drags on just as long. Once we finally get to the end of the story, we get the second twist--another one you will sniff out if you're paying even a little bit of attention. This is the worst of the segments, and believe me when I tell you that's really saying something.

Knob Goblin

A guy is told to go into a house to face the reality that the monster he has always feared isn't real. It is, and the monster bites off his genitals. That's literally all that happens in this segment, which also goes for comedy but fails miserably. At least this outing is mercifully short.

Watch If You Dare, the worst horror anthology I have ever watched (that's also saying a lot). The stories are all poor, the acting is terrible in all three, and there is nothing even remotely interesting about anything we see. This movie was advertised as the most disturbing film of 2018--the only thing disturbing about this movie is that is was actually made.


On A Scale Of One To Ten: 2

Watch If You Dare Movie Trailer