Saturday, February 13, 2021

BREAKDOWN LANE

Breakdown Lane Movie Review

Kirby (Whitney Moore of Birdemic fame) breaks down in the middle of nowhere. While waiting for a tow truck, a zombie outbreak takes place, and now it's a fight for survival! That sounds fairly interesting, but wow, is any hope for this movie ever taken away almost immediately! Kirby is instantly unlikable, and she does nothing along the way to change this. She is rescued momentarily by a group of rednecks, but, you know, being rednecks and all, it's not long before they start talking about how they have to breed to keep the species alive, and how they must feed on the dead in order to survive--keep in mind, the outbreak started earlier the same day. They inevitably try to rape Kirby, who fights them all off, killing all but the leader (wonder if she'll run into him later?). She does have one pal during this journey. His name's Max, and he is the customer service rep she initially called for tow truck help/verbally assaulted--she'll find him later, too. Kirby has a drug addict boyfriend back home, and when we finally see Max, he looks a lot like her current dude. There are religious nuts. We have bland dialogue. He get scene after scene lifted from previous movies and television shows with zombies. Kirby eventually goes all Rambo, with automatic weapons, a headband, blah blah blah. 

"Don't forget my tire iron!"

The acting is atrocious. The lighting is awful. The CGI is poor, and at times (especially near the end) it looks like we're watching a video game. Instead of traditional transition shots, we get what appears to be comic strips of the action, and sadly, this very unoriginal idea is the best part of the film. We get to the end and, still not made to care the least bit for the lead character, we are left disappointed that Kirby wasn't slowly killed by the zombies. There are not many movies I have watched and found absolutely no enjoyment or entertainment in--if not for the comic strips, Breakdown Lane would be one of them. This movie is just horrendous, and not in a fun, Birdemic way. 

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 2

Breakdown Lane Movie Trailer

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