BITTEN

Bitten Movie Review

A paramedic named Jack (Jason Mewes, Clerks, Feast) finds a beaten and bloodied girl (Erica Cox) in an alley and takes her to his apartment to help her back to health. He soon discovers the woman is a vampire. Now he has to find a way to keep her hunger for blood satisfied. This movie is a horror-comedy that fails miserably at being either. The dialogue is terribly bad. The “comedy” is not funny at all. Anybody who has seen Mewes in a movie knows he has little to no acting ability--this works fine in roles like “Jay” from the Kevin Smith movies, but in movies where he is the lead and actually has dramatic moments, his lack of acting abilities sticks out like a sore thumb. Cox is not a lot better, but for some her looks will make up for it.

For some, not all

All the side characters are terrible, as are the actors playing them. The story is a boring one, the unfunny jokes are repeated over and over—even the soundtrack is bad. After 85 minutes of this I found myself begging for the end of the movie, only to be subjected to another couple minutes of the least funny outtakes reel I have ever seen. The only good things I can say about this film are that it features a smoking hot vampire chick and a fair bit of blood—neither are reason enough to sit through this movie.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 3

Bitten Movie Trailer