Sunday, August 7, 2016

THE CRAWLING EYE

The Crawling Eye Movie Review

An ominous cloud hovers along the side of a mountain in the Alps, and someone--or something--is decapitating people scaling the mountain.

The identity is clouded in mystery

I came across this one Saturday night--Svengoolie was an episode I had already seen, airing a movie I had already reviewed, so I channel surfed and quickly landed on another horror host show: Macabre Theater. I had heard about this show and its host, Ivonna Cadaver, but had never actually seen an episode, so with nothing better to do on a Saturday night (sad, I know), I decided to give it a shot. If you have seen this show, you know what to expect--if you haven't, you're probably wondering what Ms. Cadaver looks like...

Elvira she's not

The graphics for the show are pretty horrible, but in a retro, likeable sort of way, so it scores points for that--the bumper music scores a few more. As for Ivonna...oy vey. Her delivery is terrible, she has no timing, the writing is dreadful, and she seems totally devoid of any personality whatsoever...picture yourself in your nearest white ghetto, where you stop off at the Texaco to grab some snacks, and the 19 year old girl who looks like she hasn't bathed or brushed her hair in days mumbles something about the three kids she has already, and how they cut into her drug and smokes money as she stares blankly at you...with me so far? Okay, now put said chick in some insta-goth wardrobe and makeup, put her in front of a camera, and cross your fingers that she can actually read the cue cards you have made...I think you get the picture. The format of the show is as follows: play the movie for approximately six minutes, take a two minute break, six more minutes of movie, another commercial break--repeat for two hours. Ivonna opened the show, popped up for a painful five minute plug for her sites newest merchandise (a Corpse Bride cake topper), and didn't really appear again until the end segment, which was unbearably bad but mercifully short. Svengoolie, if you're listening...PLEASE STOP SHOWING RERUNS!!

Vampira...just because

Okay, lets get back on track--The Crawling Eye is one of those 1950s B Sci-Fi flicks that has reached cult status largely because it's so bad (it WAS on Mystery Science Theater 3000 after all), but in such a wonderful way. The final ten minutes, when the creature is FINALLY revealed, are fantastic--the 70 plus minutes leading up to that point are enough to put a person to sleep...if not for the catchy Macabre Theater bumper song every six to eight minutes.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5

The Crawling Eye Movie Trailer


Added Bonus: If you're wondering what the creature looks like...

Eye got you covered

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