Friday, June 19, 2015

APARTMENT 1303

Apartment 1303 Movie Review

Janet Slate (Julianne Michelle) makes the first big decision of her life: she moves away from her alcoholic mother (Rebecca De Mornay, The Hand That Rocks The Cradle) and sister Lara (Mischa Barton, The Sixth Sense) and signs a one year lease for an apartment she has never seen in person. As she spends her first night there she learns the place may not be quite the dream apartment she pictured. Spoiler alert--it's haunted.

Boo

Holy smokes, is this movie ever bad. You likely will first notice the acting, which is akin to something you may see in a college classroom production--scratch that--I have been involved in college classroom productions and they did not come close to the ineptitude of this film. Even De Mornay, who has been fantastic in films in the past, is awful here--one suspects she observed the "actors" around her and decided not to even try, instead opting to collect a paycheck and call it a day. The directing seems to lack any direction whatsoever. The "creepy" girl is anything but. The writing--oh God, the writing--honestly, Ed Wood wrote better stuff than this. The story hits a lull that seemingly lasts forever. I cannot off the top of my head recall a movie that hits a dead end so early in the film and just does not move at all. The ghosts are probably the least scary one can imagine (see photo above), and to make it all even worse, the CGI is atrocious. Even the music in this film is terrible. The fact that five million dollars was put into the making of this film is astounding. I can only say three positive things about Apartment 130: about midway through it takes a direction I didn't expect, a couple of the more irritating characters get killed, and it's mercifully short (85 minutes that seemed at least twice that). Avoid this movie at all costs.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 3

Apartment 1303 Movie Trailer

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