CARRIE

 Carrie Movie Review

This is a 2002 T.V. Movie remake of the 1976 horror classic. First off I will say I am a fan of the original. When watching this remake it is kind of hard to compare it to the original for many reasons. First, it is a TV movie, so obviously it lacked budget and worked within many limitations as far as what they could and could not show and say. Also they bring the story to modern times (well, 2002 anyway), so it includes things like cell phones and the Internet. It does follow the basic story (Carrie gets picked on, crazy mother, guy she has crush on takes her to prom, the big moment at the end) but it also has enough original stuff to separate it from the 1976 classic. Angela Bettis is very strong as Carrie White. She brings a lot more personality to the character, a lot more crazy, but also more humor. She also makes the character a lot more likable, which actually makes you feel a lot worse for her.

It's about to hit the fan

Katharine Isabelle (Freddy vs Jason, Ginger Snaps series) and Chelan Simmons also put in good performances. Patricia Clarkson as Carrie’s mom is a bit odd as she reminded me a lot of Lillith from Frasier. The casting of the two main villains was awful, with the guy playing the bully looking like somebody who himself would be picked on and beat up on a regular basis. Another setback for this movie is the special effects towards the end. This is of course typical of made for television movies though, so you really shouldn't expect anything more. I have read that this is actually closer to the book than the original as well. There are some really fantastic scenes here, including an exchange between the school principal and a lawyer that resulted in me actually cheering out loud--classic. I would recommend this movie given that 1) you understand this is not going to be JUST LIKE the original and 2) you keep in mind this was a made for television movie.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

Carrie Movie Trailer

MASTERS OF HORROR: JENIFER

Masters of Horror: Jenifer Review

There will be several Masters of Horror reviews coming up soon. Masters of Horror was a series that ran on Showtime. Each episode was about an hour long and directed by, well, masters of horror.

Jenifer, directed by legendary Dario Argento, is the story of a cop (Steven Weber of Wings fame) saving a mentally challenged and disfigured woman from murder. He finds himself falling for her and her seductive ways, and soon finds out a disturbing secret about Jenifer.

Yikes

This is a pretty well made episode. Weber does a very good job as the cop and Jenifer is very frightening looking. This is a must see for any fan of the old Tales From The Crypt series, which I am.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

Masters of Horror: Jenifer Trailer

MASTERS OF HORROR: SICK GIRL

Masters of Horror: Sick Girl Movie Review

Lucky McKee brings us this love story. Entomologist (bug geek) lesbian Ida Teeter (Angela Bettis) comes home one day to find a package on her doorstep from somebody in Brazil. Inside is an odd bug she has never seen before. This bug soon becomes a large part of the life of Teeter and her new lover (horror/porn star Misty Mundae/Erin Brown). Honestly, I was a bit disappointed in this one. I am a big fan of Bettis (horror fans know her from Toolbox Murders, the TV remake of Carrie, May etc) but her talents can only carry this one so far. This is a boring story that is painfully slow at times, and a really annoying character (a guy Ida works with) really bring this one down. It does have a fair bit of gore and is a throwback of sorts to creature features, so it does have that going for it.

Something's bugging her

If you have an hour to kill, or if you are a fan of Bettis or Mudae/Brown, give it a look. If not, avoid it.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5

Masters of Horror: Sick Girl Trailer

MASTERS OF HORROR: CIGARETTE BURNS

Masters of Horror: Cigarette Burns Movie Review

One of my favorite directors, John Carpenter, brings us this episode. A millionaire collector hires a movie theatre owner (Norman Reedus of Boondock Saints and The Messengers 2) to track down and purchase for him a copy of the film titled Le Fun du Monde, a movie shown publicly just once, and known for turning it's viewers in homicidal maniacs (think The Ring, except instead of dying you kill others-- or yourself).

Something is happening here

A very interesting plot evolves as the film moves. I liked this one a lot. Carpenter's directing is obvious here; there are tons of gruesome scenes, and a very strong performance by Reedus carry this one. Recommended to any horror fan.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 8

Masters Of Horror: Cigarette Burns Trailer

MASTERS OF HORROR: PICK ME UP

Masters of Horror: Pick Me Up Movie Review

Larry Cohen directs this episode about a bus that breaks down in the woods and the passengers become victims of two different serial killers--Wheeler (Michael Moriarty) and Walker (Warren Kole)--on a collision course with each other. At about 55 minutes long it drags a bit--it would have been much better at just 40-45 minutes. Moriarty's acting is pretty lousy and quite irritating. Walker is a much more interesting character and Kole is a better actor. It does have some intense scenes and the last fifteen minutes of the episode are rather good. Plus, Fairuza Balk (The Craft, American History X) is in this one, which only adds to my enjoyment.

She's still the weirdo

I don't want to give too much away, but the ending I believe is a nod to a classic from the early 80's. I recommend this one.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 7

Masters Of Horror: Pick Me Up Trailer

MASTERS OF HORROR: DANCE OF THE DEAD

 Masters of Horror: Dance of the Dead Movie Review

Set in a post World War 3 society, this is the story of a young waitress meeting a group of drug dealers in her overprotective mother's restaurant. They lead her into a world of drugs, sex, and an underground club run by Robert Englund (A Nightmare On Elm Street series). The main event at this club is "The dance of the dead", where the undead are drugged and shocked with cattle prods, resulting in the dance.

Dance zombie!

This sounds like a cool story, but the film suffers from trying to fit too much plot into a one hour episode. A pretty weak cast hurts this one as well, especially Ryan McDonald, who is like the equally annoying evil twin of Jack Black. However, it does have some interesting directing (compliments of horror legend Tobe Hooper) and Englund is at his creepy best. It really makes me wish this were a full-length film. If this has another 30 minutes to build the story and better casting it may have been a classic. It's worth a watch, especially if you are a fan of Englund, but alas, this is nothing spectacular.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 6

Masters Of Horror: Dance Of The Dead Trailer

MASTERS OF HORROR: FAIR HAIRED CHILD

Masters of Horror: Fair Haired Child Movie Review

A couple loses their child in a drowning accident and decide to conduct a ritual to bring him back to life. In order to do so, however, they have to sacrifice twelve other children. With eleven down they kidnap outcast Tara (Lindsay Pulsipher) and throw her in the basement to complete the mission.

Where's the hair?

William Malone directs this episode, which is a rather boring one. Lori Petty stars as the mother and is actually not quite as irritating as usual. Pulsipher does a fair job as well, but nothing really makes this episode stand out. This isn't horrible, but it certainly isn't good either. Unless your mission is to watch every episode of the series I would skip this one.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 4

Masters Of Horror: Fair Haired Child Trailer

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 5: RAVE TO THE GRAVE

Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave To The Grave Movie Review

We see early that many of the characters from part 4 return for this one, and with the exception of Aimee-Lynn Chadwick as Becky, that's not a good thing.

Rave On

After his uncle is killed, Julian finds two barrels in his uncle's house. Unsure what is inside, he and his girlfriend take one of the barrels to their chemist friend Cody, who determines it is something similar to the drug ecstasy. Jeremy (perhaps the most irritating character in a film this side of Pauly Shore) puts a drop of the liquid on his tongue and trips to the verge of death. He and Cody decide to put the liquid in pill form (think Advil gel caps the size of a horse pill)(remember, one drop almost killed Jeremy) and sell the drugs to local college kids. I don't think I have to mention the result. This really is not a bad film; it's considerably better the previous installment, but it's not really great either. The acting and makeup are just as bad as ROTLD 4 but there is still plenty of blood and gore as well. They tried to bring more comedy into this one, which really drags the film down (and cost it a point on my score). But as a horror movie it has legs. Oddly, the same characters that fought the zombies in ROTLD 4 return here but never mention they have fought or even seen zombies before.

On A Scale Of One To Ten: 5

Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave To The Grave Movie Trailer